StArSAnGeL*LoVe

2006-06-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

in case u people have been coming here but not know about my new blog, this is it

www.bless-giveitback.blogspot.com

yep. been blogging for some time already =)

2006-03-31T15:11:00.000+08:00

I love to live in the past.
Well, I was just thinking how I'll be leaving you, alone.
I know I've got u, and u're always there. somehow...
I admire my classmate, seeing how she can appreciate her bf..
and of cos, how her bf waits for her outside of sch each and everyday, unless he has late lessons.
I guess, what they've said are right. I shouldn't have.
I am serious, serious this time round.
I can't pretend to love, its wrong.
I'll just leave, quietly, perhaps.
till u've seen this and know it all.

this will be my last post in this blog I suppose..
probably update again if i'm gonna get a new blog.
You know, i don't like to explain.

everything has its purpose, and I'm listening carefully to Him this time round.
Thank God for letting me choose my decision.
Amen.

2006-03-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

yes this is me!! whee!

well my new class!
06S26 in TPJC.
a whole new beginning.

ok someone said this pic very style lol.

sorry for being zi lian again.
realised that my blog has been rather dull these days.
haha.
till then!
=)

2006-03-26T14:19:00.000+08:00

Changed my background music to this once again.
Was actually thinking of "i don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith
but realised its rather..unlike me?
don't exactly know how to explain but yeah,
its rather much not for me..
nevermind.
Any idea how much impact Tao Ze's songs have on me?
I don't have any idea too.
I guess it just gets me thinking..
about some simple issues,
some phrases we always hear..
but most human beings never get to understand..fully...
I feel so dumb most of the times.
studying seems so hard all of a sudden.
Its not about the depth of the topics or so on..
but just the thought of... studying.. focussing... managing..
it erks me off.
I'm not trying to have an attitude problem here or what..
not trying to do some teenage thing that we just reject whatever that comes.
its not being rebellion here.
perhaps now in JC, all that i want or am expected to do is study and study.
I miss the days where I'm so busy with cca, busy with cg roles, busy with shepherdings..
used to complain about not enough time for myself and family and about not being able to shepherd all my sheep..
now, i have all the time in the world yet i feel so restricted.
so so restricted.
i miss all the laughters with cg
all the lame-d moments
all the achievements
all the celebrations
all the leng-chang between each activity even
and of cos, seeing sally asking for the rest of the bread after holy com
you know how fullfilling it is?
being so busy yet when it all happens, its so fulfilling it just gets everything behind your head..
i feel so bad for not being happy now. and then too.
who else but myself can make me happy?
even jokes may not be able to pull me out of it all.

today,
i just heard a good news.
shanrui is going for ec1 cg this week.
glad she's back.
at least she should be back on track.
maybe she's going to bring ec1 to another peak once again.
afterall, i've not heard of her in east a right?
well, she can, of cos.
she's always so focussed and convicted.
another thing,
today is yingjie's spiritual birthday.
so fast, 1 yr..
she's grown so much i guess.
i kinda admire her.
don't exactly know why but i really admire her..
maybe of her courage? her foundation with God?
hmm.. happy birthday =)

coming tuesday,
cheng wanna meet me.
i wonder why.. so long since i last met any if the leaders
or in fact, an arranged meet-up with any other ppl in church.
used to feel so.. normal? like its always normal to meet any of them..
but now.. its like, i'll keep thinking why she wanna meet me and so on..
is it some serious issue?
is it about eastc?
is it about some ppl?
is it abt me?
i'm curious. really. but not excited.

i thought a channel of help had come but it was taken away abruptly..
not long.
i thought i'm going back on the right pathway again but the track was once again blurred.
perhaps a downpour came right down and the trail was covered but mud, all over.

i can't write fanciful stories with lots of descriptions and adjectives.
But i know i can write what i know i should write.
and that is why i can't just write whatever that comes to my mind.
that's probably why i'm such an introvert at times.
man its raining now.
all of a sudden.
i'm so dragged by my emotions.
but more prone to the sad side la.
ask me to cry now and u might need to bring a pail along.

last night, i dreamt.
dreamt of chinese drama..
dreamt of acting on stage.
each and everyone of the society were on stage.
don't remember whats it abt.
but i remember seeing a stage on the stage. (gd if u understand, if not, forget it.)
then there were a few drums..
argh. don't remember.

anyway, i'm thinking of going back to teach the CDS sec1s on every friday.
but you know, i'm not a gd actor among my batch
so if someone were to teach,
it shouldn't be me.
AND, the fact that my mum may not like the idea is..
demoralising.
utterly.
PLUS, i think i'm drifted away from my batch ppl..
oh wells.
forget abt the idea.

i seriously need to learn how to cycle.
i mean, cycle well, confidently.
the other time i went ecp i fell with LOTS of bruises.
if i were to keep learning throughout this half yr, do u think it'll be safe if i were to go night cycling or something like that with the rest of the odacians?
quite impossible.
hard to believe.
but i'll still try k
provided there's someone to accompany me go cycling..
*HINTS*

i'm tired.
maybe i'm trying too much to TRY.

if i were to die, i would request to see my heart smile.

who cares

2006-03-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

so long, so long since i last blogged.

Perhaps I'm just trying to hide from reality,

perhaps I'm getting a little too tired of this...

If you ask me how's my day, my reply would probably be..

like any other days..

but well, it ain't going well in school..

at the very least, not what my "ideality nature" expected.

Trying really hard to be optimistic,

to be smiling, to be sociable, to be less concerned about my appearances and so on...

but you know, its really tough to carry on doing all these...

I used to feel like an idiot in AJ,

now i feel rather like some genius in TPJC,

or maybe cos they're teaching all those topics again

but well, I'll prefer to be an idiot, seriously.

All the lessons are no longer as fun..

no big talks of the cat high ppl, no courageous actions of the dunman high ppl,

no girl talks between the girls ( cos they go gaga-ing over some guys ).

oh crap, i feel so bad... this is so crap!

complain complain complain...all I can do is complain...

I try, I really try, and I'm trying harder but where does it get me to?

anywhere?

you know some girls just keep laughing and laughing and laughing in class,

they seem so unreal...

I mean, its good that you're happy and stuffs like that but...

it just seems so unreal...... like pri school...

nevermind, I'm rather determined to work hard this time round.

So if i really can't mix well and the class remains so seperative after another 2 weeks,

I'll just be alone, studying in the library ba..

haix.

who cares.

that question was not meant to be asked..

when u asked that, i'm more determined to do what i've been wanting to do for the past week..

still remember that time when u said i sounded fierce?

and sometimes i just don't reply ur sms-es?

i'm growing tired of ur annoyance.

many a times, u ask the questions, demanding me to say something when i was about to say them.

end up that i'll rather not say it.

i can't understand you and make u smile or make u laugh..

seriously, i can't.

and you know it don't you?

so why don't you just leave me instead of me hurting you?

( i think u've seen the picture in ur mind when u asked that question..)

she can understand you better isn't it?

she can talk right out with you isn't it?

she can argue with you and make u laugh out loud isn't it?

i'm just another baby girl for u to console and adore when u want to be secured of yourself.

right?

been too lazy

2006-03-13T09:18:00.000+08:00

Oh so sorry to all of you who have been coming to my blog, yet I've not updated anything... Since its March holidays, I shall try to squeeze out something (you call it juice or something haha) from my brain. Well, been rather upset and lazy these days... Perhaps lazy cos I'm upset. I was really really disappointed in some people and some things... and of cos, my appeal too. Things ain't going really well for me. However, its good I would say, to fall as I've been getting too much of what I want. I don't want to lean on luck or some sort like that anymore. I want to make it my own achievement this time round. Yes.

Appeal, unsuccessful. They didn't call. And actually I wanted to put in another appeal on Friday but Ho Yin (jiaqi's PAE classmate) kept persuading me not to.. and i was softened.. But I was still reluctant to give up this chance to appeal.. so I went off to appeal, with weixun they all but was held back by a teacher at the gate. what the... say we can only go off after 12.50... but that day lessons end at 11 + la... -.-" then weixun decided not to go AJ already... then I also dun wanna go alone... so in the end I gave up my chance.... =( but I don't think it'll be successful too la. I'm gonna stay in TPJC for the next 1 and 3/4 yrs ahead. Not exactly excited or enthusiastic about it but nevermind, I can go through it. Yesterday Xiwen told me that she's gonna run for Student Council and I was thinking if I should go for the same thing too.. I have no idea why she wants to do that (or at least not clear haha) but for me, its gonna be change change change change CHANGE the school for the better and also to spread the Gospel.. I want others to know that I can do well in studies too despite much time spent with God, through Him of cos! *AMEN!* On saturday I went for the service and I felt like I'm gonna die man.. as in... God keeps reminding me of His great commission and that He's coming!!!! He also told me to forget about the past cos it doesn't matter anymore...when we were worshipping... and during the hwa chong chinese drama performance, He reminded me of that again... oh man oh man... Now I'm awfully burdened again... I really hope xiwen is going for the same reason too and of cos, succeed...

OH YA, and yesterday ah... man i feel so detached la... from the rest of my batch... as in CDS people... wahh I'm so so so so sad and BORED. I just kept sms-ing and looking at my phone and stare.. -.-"

its SO detached ok. I felt so weird. utterly awkward man.

but NEVERMIND. its ok... maybe its just myself... or maybe its just that day...

haha I don't feel like blogging le.

enjoy your march holidays people!

and use it to the fullest man!

BYE!!!!

chao ren

2006-03-06T21:35:00.000+08:00

if only i can be a chao ren and be so faithful to my love despite the end of the world...
sometimes i think of myself to be so strong.... so so strong......

lazy

2006-03-06T14:16:00.000+08:00

i'm becoming more and more lazy to blog...less commitments less thoughts... Sometimes i really wish of my brain to be a box or something, a physical one so that i can just take out all those i dun wanna keep in my mind and really "keep' those that i want.....or rather, need. I feel so immature now. I feel like just complaining everything to someone. And the only one who might be willing and able to do so is this blog. No one bothers, at times. And even if someone bothers, its always at the wrong time, wrong situation. Don't blame me if I shoo you off many a times, cos I jolly well know that I can get real pissed off. I'd rather shoo u off then scare u off with my loud screams of anger.

I can't believe myself at times, being so quiet... At the same time, I can't believe myself being so childish and noisy and mad too... who says keeping silence = observing the surroundings = mature? CRAP.

I MISS AJC!!!!

2006-03-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

well well well finally everything's out. Olevel's gonna be a past to us. It sure took a long time to go through this, so much longer than psle *oh crap.* and just the thought of Alevels is.......well, interestingly appealing and challenging. haha. I guess I really gotta control myself and really concentrate on my studies this time round. And yes, if you're wondering where I'm posted to, its TPJC (tampines junior college *for those who live too far away to realise that there's such a jc existing..yep.* ).. But of course, of course, I'll not miss the chance to appeal back to AJ. Once i get to know my posting result online, I told my sis, then went back to AJ...to appeal...then went to eat lunch at yoshinoya alone la... so poor thing... then went back to AHS for CDS... Anyways, I found out that i've got company at TPJC! so it isn't bad man. haha there's Xue Shuang and Eveline, but I still hope they'll be able to stay in AJ lah, as in successful in their appeal. yep yep. So is my appeal haha.

i'm lazy to blog. anyway, today was not-too-bad a day. yep. though i went back for cds alone... *rolls eyes* no telepathy with my batch ppl man... sian-ed.

I don't like school

2006-02-20T16:30:00.000+08:00

I miss captain's ball.
I miss crapping with Mr Yow.
I miss imitating teachers with kenneth, enoch and guys.
I miss going Jack's place and TM and playgroud and whitesands and eastpoint after school.
Don't you understand it? Life had been so carefree in the past.
I thought I'm adaptable and flexible to whatever that comes in my way but this has certainly proved not.
I'm too lazy. Yes, but that's not the only reason.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
I NO LONGER LIKE SCHOOL.

I know clearly that I can't change things and this is what we all have to go through. However, I don't know if this is really what I've been trying to achieve. Somehow, all the things that I've done seem to be of no purpose, no matter Godly or Worldly. Why can't I put all my effort and focus on doing things I should be doing? I've been getting too much of what I wanted, now that I'm dropping hard, I feel kinda...I don't know? man I don't know what I'm talking lah. Its like so what if I've gone through so much in the walk with God? ultimately, I still fall into that deep pit. It seems like all the effort just drains down to nothing. So what if I've conquered the problems at that point of time? that point of time serves nothing. NOTHING.

I'm more tired as the days go by...........

Today's defence day was so crappy and lame. No electricity for a few hrs, ate only potato and sweet potato and porridge for our breaks. and worse, they tried to cut off water supply but they forgot such a thing as water reserve. =/ LAME. & i wanna complain about the western food stall holder lah, flirt with guys then so biased give them more food. what the hell. & i was utterly frustrated during maths today cos of *******. what the hell lah talk so much...complain complain complain in class....... *ARH BISH!!!!*

i'm gonna SLEEP

2006-02-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

OK I've decided to SLEEP till near noon tomorrow. Yes, near noon. I know those who know me well won't believe what I just said but that's really what I'm gonna do. Alright, no doubts. MAN I'M SO DAMN IT TIRED. ARGH! =X Have been reaching home at 10 for the past few days la. Its literally go to sch when its dark and only come back when its DARK. real dark. I'm like IN the school more than at home. That's pretty mad, that's 13 hrs in school!! I've never really thought I'll do that. Its like once you reach home you just you know, do the basic bathing, eating then Bang! off you go "drop dead" on the bed. Really got me sleeping. Kept snoozing the alarm clock, couldn't resist the temptation for more sleep... I guess i serioously irritated my sis these mornings. ITS NOT MMMMY FAULT.

Not that I wanna say or be totally discriminating but the inter-house drama competition totally sucks. =X I'm not saying that the stajework is horrible, terrible, incorrigible...I'm not saying it but....weell.........perhaps they shouldn't just rush things and cramp the whole thing in 2-3 days. Its like really rehearse and rehearse and rehearse the whole day. MAN, now I know how SLACK we were back in Chinese Drama la. ssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooo SLACK. But I love CHINESE DRAMA, at least the rehearsals are fun and interactive. Unlike...oh wells...... Perhaps Nanyang Girls' Drama Society is really damn boring. AS can see from.........yeah. I mean, we do the same things too but I have totally no idea why it just simply seems so BORING to me this time round than I was in CDS... SO DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE. Somehow I feel that they are so rather...fake? Its like the people just talks as if they are giving some debate or just some other oratorical contest. man, A1s in English. *vomits* So kinda hypocritic. *ok I don't know if there's such a word but it simply fits into my sentence* Yeah. I'm so disgusted at times. AND I'm so utterly upset with myself la. I'm acting as a SIDE-KICK of a PRIESTESS. AND I'M SO-CALLED-SUPPOSED-TO-BE comical. yeah, comical. -.- just imagine, the word comical and the asistant of a PRIESTESS. NO LINK!!!! -.- ok nevermind, I'm just a fraud, swindlers... sian-ed. I practically just stared at them acting the whole time today, other than taking over the role of the priestess at some time of the day while she was gone for some dance thing. I just STARED..... @-@" yeah. STARED. I didn't know it could get so tiring and dried-up ( man, now I don't know what I'm talking...) by just STARING. I think today I had a weird mood, putting the blank face for the whole day. Like a wooden block. Anyways, today was from 7.30 till 5 plus. on a saturday. OH MY, so n ce. (-_-"

Let me tell you my HECTIC SCHEDULE!!!!! yucks.
next week :
MONDAY school till 1.45, go tampines teach sally maths after school till God-knows-what-time.
TUESDAY school till 1.45 or 2 plus(i forgot) then slack in school till 6 to kinda rehearse at AJ square. so kind to us.
WEDNESDAY school till 4.15 then i think there's ODAC till 7
THURSDAY school till 4.15 then tech run and rehearsal at audi ( i almost wrote air con hall, as if I'm still in ahs ) from 6 to 9. well, supposed to reach english rm at 5.30.. oh well.... and I have econs test the next day!
FRIDAY school till 4.15 then the actual acting for the sch and principals too from 6 to 9 AGAIN. In which I think it'll be later than that cos there are 5 plays + the discussion of the prizes? ya.. so I guess I'll probably reach home after 10 AGAIN.

SO NICE, I'M SO GONNA DRAIN MYSELF UP THE COMING WEEK. I'll probably have to revise and practice for my chem and econs test by tomorrow.wow. and I gotta catch up with my physics too cos I'm nuts when the tutor's going through that kinematics tutorial. OH MAN, I think I'll become the WONDERWOMAN soon... very soon. by next week *rolls eyes*

oh ya, I must tell you guys this. MAN, I'm getting bad at chinese already la. As in I can sense it, seriously sense it. Now, hear me speak mandarin and you may just laugh like mad. It has only been 2 months or so!!! I was in the bathroom just now and I was thinking about some things with mandarin words in my thoughts.. ah sort of... haha... and I was like, oh what did I just say? I had a pretty heard time trying to pronounce words like "ni men suan shi man hao de"... MAN oh MAN, I was shocked by myself. So this is the result of being "english-speaking". Why doesn't it bother me when I'm more prone to "chinese-speaking"?? *rolls eyes* err... maybe I should spend more time with my family and get back to "chinese-speaking" haha... It sounds so wrong but....argh, forget it haha.

OK I'm gonna get my 12 hrs sleep soon hee... no interruption from alarm clocks!! YEAH!!!! I love saturday nights!!! woo hoo..... see you guys around!! =) *grins*

did I cry?

2006-02-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

If you ask whether I cried, I'll say yes I did.
After being so numb for a few days..
I just realised how filled with Jealousy I am as a student, as a cousin.
14 ain't a really nice number, maybe I grumbled too much when I had 12 in the 1st place.
No school's cut-off at 12 I complained, but still I got myself in AJ.
Now that I've gotten 14, I can't be more satisfied than ever.
It was only yesterday that I realised, my results' really quite bad.
Used to be looked up to since young.
Still remember my 5 cousins taking up the same cca after me.
All the calls came in asking my results after each BIG exam.
This time, only to realise, I wasn't that great afterall.
I wanted to be good, just good.
At least the same as my other cousins.
But now all's changed and I'm just worst.
Worse than my bestest cousin.
Where's my best subject now?
Where's my best L1R5 now?
Where's my best pride now?
All kept, in my tears that have fallen.

i have no idea why

2006-02-14T13:29:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why I'm feeling this way. I know I shouldn't be thinking about all these...especially on a valentine's day but.. this is so damn it idiotic. Haix. I shouldn't have gone out yesterday at all. I should have just kept myself in. I should have kept myself from all these, perhaps for the rest of my life. Those smiles and faces are coming back and I don't want them. I used to keep them so dearly but I don't want them anymore. really, just get off my back. jealousy and hypocrisy, get off man.

AJ

2006-02-11T10:53:00.000+08:00

Aquatico's symbol.
So beng-like haha.

X-country haha, cuiwen's laugh is so cute man haha.

Aquatico^Oceano girls. (not all the girls haha, only 5 of us. I think the rest went to buy food or something.)

X-country Tze Yuen and me haha. We're running partners! haha. I look fat and messy in this pic haha. But HEY, she's underweight ok, cannot compare me and her lah! haha...

OK, I look super dumb in this pic. I didn't even know I was taken la. aiyoh... yiting ah, next time i confiscate your phone! haha...

After going through so much in AJ, I can't bear to leave AJ. From orientation, the breaks we had as a group, to the PDG, the laughters we had in class, and the many excuses we have as well of cos haha, as well as the x-country...and the inter-house drama competition... and the CIP.... so much so much. However, I still can't figure out where God wants me to go. Should I still strive to stay in AJ by appeal or should I shift my presence to somewhere near... near my house... God, let me understand your plan for me... However, seriously, I don't think my results are that bad actually haha... really! Just the thought of my getting over 20 points since sec3 till sec4 mid yr...haha, everybody was so worried for me that I may not be able to get into JC... haha, thinking that I may be a disgrace to them... but hey! now I've got 14! not bad already. I'm satisfied, not that I don't want to do better but I don't want to be disappointed. I mean, I know I've already done it and I know I can't possibly change the fact all around again.Afterall, if that's what God has given me, I should treasure it and give thanks..

well my results:
english b3
( unexpectedly cos I've been having C or fail for the past 4 yrs, other than my prelims and Os. wow! praise the Lord! )

chinese a1, oral distinction
( I finally get what I expected myself to get man! )

chemistry b3
( hmm I was thinking that I'll get a2 or b3 so still ok ba.. cos I didn't know how to do 1 long question for the paper haha...)

physics b3
( I was expecting A actually but I still improved so not bad afterall. Moreover, its abit of diff format from our sch paper la.. so... still ok.)

english literature c5
( this is my worst paper. sad la, my prelims don't have a single C la. but nvm, the question was so unexpected.)

geog/ss b3
( I'm proud of this paper. I used to fail like mad for my geog and ss. so now, I've improved so much! yeah! thanks to ms teo and ms kartini!! )

e maths a2
( ahh abit sad over this paper. wanted a1... haix. but heard my friends say the news said maths a1 is above 93 lehx. siao. )

a maths a2
( wanted a1 for this too but... nvm...... at least same as emaths la.)

so overall, I'm still satisfied with my results haha. though its 14 for L1r5... not as good as prelims... but well, its what I get. haha. yeah. see u guys around!

Its so horrible to be sick, especially fever, when you're getting your results cos u gotta climb that slope up to school and then didn't get a result as good as prelims and still have menstruation... haha. how can such things be for a girl like me?

2006-02-07T18:40:00.000+08:00

I not stupid too, I watched yesterday...didn't exactly realise that it'll take 2 hrs+ for that show. Not too bad a show actually, especially if you've not watched I not stupid. Apparently, the style is still rather much the same. However, it didn't kind of trigger my emotional button as much as the other one till the later part of the show, which was abit dumb for me 'cos I'll be walking out of the cinema with an EXTREMELY red face. I didn't really know that it was THAT red till I reached home, which was worse cos that would be that it had been so damn it red while I was still at Tampines Mall. THANKS.

I must agree with Xiwen about the importance in the message of the movie. When was the last time you ever praised someone? Much more with sincerity? Sometimes, there are just so much we wanna say, words that come out from our raw heart, filled with truth and sincerity. Yet many a times, we just simply put them off, aside. So much of the 'I love You's thrown, 'I'm really sorry', 'I really care about you', 'are you feeling alright?', 'can I pray for you?'..... Parents, communication is not just about nagging and scolding, education is not about nagging and scolding... Its not that simple. If everything's so simple, then what are we doing? If all things make use of the same steps, are we doing at all? Regulations are just so dead. So dead. So dead that it has made us human beings dead too.

Anyway, I don't wanna comment on the show's details or whatsoever but all I can say is, its rather too exaggerated. At the same time, actors are not up to standard. Funny parts ain't really that funny afterall, sad parts ain't that sad anymore. I know if I'm gonna watch it again, I won't laugh nor cry. No specific parts of the whole movie that I remembered dearly. Perhaps the only part is when the movie was silent, when the father died. I seriously stunned and that was the 1st part that made my tears fall... Nevertheless, this show is still good for a watch =) worth my 7 bucks I guess, but definitely not if watched on Sunday, which means not worth $9.50. haha, but its still nice lah.

Oh and I was a little blur in the beginning of the show cos I thought it was a continued from the 1st I not stupid. Well, apparently it wasn't cos terry's mum can't possibly turn to become a principal. haha, yeah.

Alright, I'm using another colour for another issue haha. Yep, results will be out on Friday, 2.30 pm. YES! Anderson JC no school for whole day!!! haha Heard that some other JCs have it till noon. AJC is ssssssooooooo nice. =))) results results results. I'm leaving it all to the Almighty!! haha!

You know, I love AJC for I-don't-know-what reasons actually haha. Probably my class, which is so open and fun and interesting and daring and cute and out-spoken*VERY* and active! haha. BUT, my class has already been scolded by our maths tutor for being so noisy and not listening to her in class. So horrendous. I thought we were just being nice and responsive! haha, just kidding. hee. Oh, and I love AJ nexus too. A place comfortable and cosy and cold cold and with music....perfect for SLEEPING! haha, its basically a student's lounge, so nice right? So all of us just go there and SLEEP haha. If not slack there during breaks. Can play board games too haha. =)

Hmm, I wonder if I'm gonna miss AJ alot if I'm leaving AJ.... but well, it all depends on................
=)

results

2006-02-06T00:12:00.001+08:00

Hey! =)
Results will be out in another few days I suppose. haha.
Heard from teachers it's probably on tuesday or wednesday. Well well well, everybody's getting so tensed up and worried as the days force their way through. For me, haha maybe I'm a little too weird even for myself to understannd, I'm actually excited! As in anxious and excited to know my results, you know, E-X-C-I-T-E-D. Mad? yeah yeah yeah but that's me ok. HEY, you can't blame me for that anyway. I mean, I would rather be excited and think about the BEST rather than pondering over the WORST and make myself suffer alright? Afterall, I've already made myself suffer enough for the past few years thinking that I'm probably the worst ever student in Anglican, being in the worst class and whatsoever. Its torturing enough. Yes, enough of it all. I finally realised the joy of it all right before my prelims wahahaa... I guess, consoling others and spreading love is much much much more fulfilling than being consoled. I don't wanna me a self-pity one anyway alright. I admit, I used to be one though I literally denied it. That was truly horrible. I'm learning to love, a sincere love. Serious this time. I'm really excited!!!

Hmm, I know the worst may come too of cos, that's why I'm treasuring the times spent with my current classmates. Can't possibly bear to leave ( that is if I really gotta leave, or anyone of you too...) all of you cute brats. =X Just kidding. It was really fun with you guys, albeit such a short period of time. Perhaps, it'll just gonna be an end that denotes another beginning =) a good one. Promise to live fulfilling lives yeah? *winks*

we're all tired

2006-01-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been tired and not know what you're tired of?
Have you ever been so active and enthusiastic and yet drained?
Have you ever felt like not going to sleep even though you're so tired?
Have you ever turned and tossed in your bed when you're happy?

we're all tired. Too tired to think about anything, too tired to stay awake and know what exactly are we doing. Things can go too fast, too slow, whatever it is, time still flows and will flow. I'm getting a little emotional this night, perhaps of the little sleep i had last night. nope, its this morning. slept at 6 woke at 9 plus. how very wonderful. Nevertheless, when I woke up, I was full of energy, greeted my family morning and happy new year with a HUGE smile on my face.... that smile... Now, I'm so tired. Well oh well, my whole family is tired... they're all asleep, or rather, asleep by 9... while I was still bathing. This morning I was also the one, last to bath, last to sleep. Next, I guess I'll fall asleep deeply into my dreams once I lie on my dearest bed. oh my, I sound so unlike me today... Again, another new year... getting used to being known as my second sis' elder sis. You get what I mean? forget it if you don't cos its not important anyway. Overall, I still enjoyed my day. yeah. =)

I'm tired. so are you.

chinese new year

2006-01-28T17:35:00.000+08:00

chinese new year = lunar new year.
Coming from a rather traditional chinese family, what is a new year without steamboat?? OH MAN. i dislike this, i dislike the decision to go out to eat for renuion dinner...even if it costs 50 bucks per person. I seriously DISLIKE it. I mean, steamboat's where the FUN is la... the START of the new year season... man, its so spoilt.

but no matter what, I'll still love CHINESE NEW YEAR!! haha cos can play and play and PLAY!! hee. (erases the part about homeworks) haha... yayaya hee hee!
but look, I'm not excited just cos of the red packets kk.. its cos of the smiles and laughters and playings...and of cos, the get-together!! =)

*grins*

tired

2006-01-25T17:01:00.001+08:00

well I'm tired.
just tired.

ok forced to right this!

2006-01-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

oh wells, I'm so forced to write this man. thanks to him! *looks sideways*
If you've been constantly checking outmy tagboard, its easy to know who is the "he"...
that is, if you know me well enough to know who will use that nick haha.

oh I'm seriously trying to write alot of crap cos i wanna waste space, so as to fulfill my mission in writing this LONG and MEANINGFUL post for HIM. ok, I know I'm kinda bad but hey! I'm already nice enough to write one entirely for YOU and about YOU ok! haha. actually, I don't even know what exactly to write!!!

hmm, things are going on smoothly, I just hope I'm not affecting his tournament. well, I know I did, though u did not say anything. cos of the last meeting... i just wanted you to go home early, i just wanted things to go on slowly and sweetly... sometimes, somehow, this relationship is not meant for us alone, its for the people around us and for Him of cos. yeah. I know you wanted to spend time with me alone but I don't wanna tempt myself or whatsoever and I know you understand what i mean right? I'm truly sorry if I affected your tournament. sorry.

you're so sweet *cough cough*, and caring and amusing haha... being a "senior" who is OLDER and being so "DOMINANT", saying that i gotta do whatever you say...but its funny and cute la. haha. ( a sudden change of emotions...*i'm weird* )

anyways, no matter what, i just wanna let you know that I've been praying for you even though I've not been there to support you or even, at the very least, call you... but I've been.. through you, I'm being pulled back to God, chatting more with Him...trying to hold on to Him...

shit, actually I had alot in mind as to what to say but now suddenly blank in my head... haha... next time then write more la... now, don't you say i never write about you in my blog....or just 2 lines la. haha. and, pls don't ask me anymore about my blog stuffs lehx, don't wanna explain after writing them... =P

wrong wrong wrong

2006-01-13T23:36:00.000+08:00

I've been going mad alot these days, laughing till i roll on the floor, literally, and doing some silly actions every now & then. well, i don't know what's exactly wrong with me but i just go mad at home! i'm losing myself again. Seriously, losing...losing what i've been thinking...
losing control of everything happening around me at times. Well, I'm not saying that i could control all the things around me last time but... everything seems to be so wrong... of cos i won't list them all out... but a true reminder for all the people around me, love the people around while u can, give them as much happiness as u can, trust them as much as u can, respect them whenever possible & always treasure them. At the same time, know the ultimate meaning of living ( be it in ur pespective ) and live up to it. Don't do things just because its what everybody's doing or what u think its the "time" to do it. It applies to everybody, really. =)

I joined this cca in AJC, outdoor activities club (ODAC). so far so fun, with enthusiastic teachers and students and really, people who love one another. Joking with them is really fun. Somehow, i find my primary school self in them. haha I don't know how to explain it but its really fun with these out-going ppl. ODAC (in AJ) motto: B-R-A-V-O
B- brave
R-resourceful
A- adventurous
V- versatile
O- outgoing
Be a land master, be a sea conqueror.
(in my terms, be a world changer.)

i know i may not have written alot in my blog, neither do i talk alot about my life. Nevertheless, life is fulfilling enough for me as in my eyes, the heart & the mind & the actions(effort) matters more than anything else. Probably, that's why i trust, and believe. Not for myself alone, NON MIHI SOLUM.

my hp has been taken away again cos my mum doesn't want me to bring to school. I know u all worry when i did not reply the messages.Just drop me an email instead perhaps. m_tmq_1304@hotmail.com i love u

all i miss about ahs is the FOOD!!!

2006-01-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

guess what?? i miss ahs, i mean, seriously! FOR THE FOOD!!!!!!!!! *rolls my eyes* ya ya ya i miss ahs' food and that big canteen haahaha... really lehx. i seriously am not interested much less satisfied about AJ's food... some expensive, some really long queues, some salty some weird... haha i only like the sandwiches and western food so far but both are like 2 bucks. =/ so sian-ed. but its ok, thank goodness our sch is so near NYP that we can go there eat hahaha... the food junction there is GOOD ok! much better than the one at tampines mall and century square's too haha. as in, at least, they look appetizing enough..... *oh wells...* and the bubble tea's not bad hahaa... haha, they were saying that they may go poly simply for the food then i was like "siao, can go JC then still can go poly for gd food why not?" hahaha....... i'm going mad. anyway, i'm rather determined to do well for my studies, SURPRISINGLY. hee. but i'm not gonna mug & mug like mad.. i'm just gonna read & do some stuffs beforehand, i dun wanna tire myself out too right? i wanna study hard & play hard, just like those VJ people. i hope i can stay at AJ and "steal" those nyp food hahaha... i'm mad! at the same time, i'm gonna enjoy myself in ODAC, if not, i'll go for stAJeworks after the Os. haha. by the way, 62 people went for the ODAC talk so i guess there's like too much intake or something but they're not gonna kick anyone out. the PE teacher's so nice. haha i like him. & 1 thing, the only thing that's gonna stop me frm joining ODAC is my cycling la. but i'm gonna learn ok, for once, serious. i'm gonna learn & practise & keep that skill! but wells, whose gonna get me a bike? LOL.

lectures starting.

2006-01-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

so lectures have started today. haha its so funny to start with that physics lecturer ok. he's so GAY! =X no la, he's just funny with his actions & words. most importantly, he's WEIRD. as in, he suddenly say things like " don't think i'm joking around here, when i get fierce & ANGRY, i'll BITE ur head OFF!!!" hahaha, made me laugh like mad la... then he suddenly ask why people laugh. i mean, he surely knows it right? *rolls eyes* but well, after that we went to check our subject code we got in! & i got into my 1st choice!!! haha 4h2 maths, physics, chem, econs!!! haha i'm so happy lah. i wonder why i always want to take something more than the norm la, maybe cos i'm just weird? haha. i "love" challenges.....lol...yeah right...... haha. but i hope i'll do well. afterall, one of my few new year resolution is to get A or B for all my subjects. hm, not exactly confident of doing so but i'll always try la. haha =)
anyway, guess what, AJC physics students 45% of them get A la, and about 75% of them got either A or B! oh my, how do they ever do that?? =/
ah, and i've got 3 hrs break today!! haha, that was abit mad. but well, went to the library with jerrie & slacked haha. chatted about people & schools & so on. well, can't blame us for wasting our time chatting away. at least we did try reading but i only read 20+ pages & i almost fell asleep la. its like so tired, esp with the cold nice nice rainy weather! haha...
today school ended early. at around 3.20... supposed to end at 4.45 initially but they cancelled the maths lecture & pushed forward the econs lesson. i guess it doesn't make any difference. cos all the lecturers just introduced the teachers & the topics & the exam format, which we known since the subject talks. it was SO BORING. but nevermind, looking at the teachers seem to be rather interesting too at times =P
anyway, thank goodness i brought my umbrella! it suddenly rained so heavily halfway on my route to the interchange. & that wilson! argh. the guys were like hiding under their bags or something & got so hurried when the rain started to "grow" heavy *LOL* haha... yeah then that wilson came hiding under my umbrella. i mean its ok la but he had an umbrella himself & he's just too lazy to find it & open it. *rolls eyes* nvm, he held on to the umbrella but he got my whole shoulder wet lah! *push air in my cheek* haix. nvm, its kinda funny talking to him also. haha. SOTONG! =P

k, i better stop. see u all around. & stop asking me about him lehx. =S sad, he's gonna have tournament soon so won't be talking much le.

Anderson JC

2006-01-08T14:44:00.000+08:00

ok i've got nothing to say but Anderson JC simply rocks my head off. I LOVE IT. haha, travelling wasn't a problem since it only takes 45-60 mins. Its rather much the same as travelling to AHS, as in the FEEL. haha, u got that, no? then forget it, as long as I know what i'm saying. haha, anyways, how's life for everyone? i really hope everything's the least, OK. yeah. Well, its pretty funny how i can find so many similarities between AJ and AHS. haha, of cos, both starts with the letter "A". ok tt's lame. hmm ya. So is the extension thing outside the staff rm, since its out of bounce to students. & the indoor basketball court....blah blah blah. & yes, the air-conditioned hall... =) *grins* though they didn't on it for orientation... *rolls eyes* but well, it has more air conditioners than AHS la. ssoooooooooo many. GD. heeheehee.

ah, orientation was dearly superb ok. all the cheerings & games & dances.. haha i'm a les! =X kidding haha. i danced with another girl instead of a guy. why is the world always SHORT of GUYS? cos they are taller? sorry if u dun understand take it as i'm CRAPPING like i always does. yeah. its more fun dancing with another girl. we were laughing like mad when we couldn't catch the steps la. haha. & barry is so superbly gd at dancing alrite. he's like, OH MY. haha. yeah. just imagine the song is playing at the speed twice the normal one. he CAN catch that la. *peng* btw, he's my og leader if u guys dunno. yeah. he's funny & real nice. treat us drinks & sweets & more drinks. hahhaa... hmm, i think he's insightful too haha. as in, he knows exactly what to say at particular times. haha. i admire him for his actions man. *other than the pang-seh-ing us J1s at orchard!* a Godly man too. =) i was actually wondering if he's in Hope church haha. if he is, then hohoho....i'll be so very proud of him, and amazed by God. haha.
ah & there's kah hoe too, another ogl, he's nice too haha. i think he's very observant, as seen frm his letter to us. haha. he describes me as someone who is quiet on the outside, but things are totally different for me when everyone's high. haha. which is so very the true. haha. <- his language. he always speak that way. the so very the blah blah blah........ haha, i hope he doesn't see this.=P
& yes of cos, there's weilin too. so nice! i love her la. haha. still remember our changing of clothes in the same cubicle. haha TWICE. & she's so cute. sometimes she just hops around. =X cute! she's nice nice nice. bet she's tired looking after us man. especially in getting us to go high. & i love the jumping with her during orientation song haha. fun. =)
yeah, i dun wanna describe everything i did in orientation. its filled with too many emotions i guess. haha. of cos, it includes boredom too, in the beginning. but nevertheless, its fun fun fun. =)
Acuatico^Oceano
weilin
barry
kah hoe
patrick
wilson
weiming
weiquan
rong qing
zhen yang
jay sern
si jie
jimmy
veronica
yi wen
jerrie
wei ling
jacqueline
charrisa
mun yeng
samantha
eveline
fitrah
zoeraine
ME!
haha.

lazy

2006-01-01T15:47:00.000+08:00

guess what? actually i wanted to write alot of things.
about hwee meng, about qing nian ge, about cc, about my sports shoes, about jacq, about sally, about leaving ec1, about the book i found, about the cards i received from jacq & cheng, about the fireworks ytd night, about the show i watched this morning( the disney's kid), about today's boredom, about the teen's choice award ( an american show actually) & about the simple plan song....about how i feel about everything... but well, i just realised that there's too much to say& i'm lazy & words just can't describe exactly what i really feel... i only know that i've been crying alot these 2 days. not of sadness but being touched & moved by alot of things. man, i have not cried so heartily for so long...... the world is really wonderful. it really is amazing...................

new year new school

2005-12-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

well well well, school's starting. let's see, in another 3 days? yeah. ok, so many things that i have not done. haven't wash my bags (alrite alrite, at least i washed 1 of them *rolls eyes*), haven't pack my table, haven't pack my books and files into the cupboards, haven't finish da4 shao3 chu2 my hse, haven't say things i wanna say.... haha.... crap crap crap...
ok, rather excited for orientation at AJC. haha.... this senior by the name of kah hoe called me. his name is KAH HOE. haha, maybe he's kinda related to kah wee?? haha =X anyway, he sounds so matured. as in not that deep deep voice that kind la. its like..some businessman? =/ but he's nice la. he gave me his hp number wor. so call him when NEEDED. yeah. *blinks blinks* haha sorry i'm abit mad now....LOL.... anyway, there's like quite a number of stuffs he informed me of the orientation. let's see... reach at 7am, ends at 5.45pm !!!!! i thought it starts at 8??? made me feel so happy for nothing man... but nvm, haha. afterall i only take 40 mins to reach sch, not like 1 hr or more wahaha.... ok, i'm in the BIG grp called the particle of AQUAPICO (hmms, nvr heard of it right?) and in the BIG grp, i'm in the small grp 18. haha cute la. i've gotta report in FULL SCHOOL UNIFORM. that's so dumb. i can't imagine me wearing it again man. after the shock on the 1st day of O levels hahaha..... by the way, still need to PAY for MY ORIENTATION. *oh wells...........* 18 bucks ain't cheap man, for the "orientation packeage". + $6 for FOOD. (-.-) but well, let's hope its really fun & worth it ok? *grins* hmm... what else do i need to bring? ah, full set of PE shirt, but well, since ours is WHITE, i need to bring a BLACK shirt instead. & writing materials, water bottle, PAE booklet, 3 days worth of newspaper...... eh, actually like not alot hoh. haha... 3 fulls days of orientation, i'm COMING!!!!!!!!! wooohoo......
by the way, heard there's gonna be a thanksgiving dinner tml....... oh well........ =/ not that i'm bored of it or what but... haix.... i somehow feel that it means bye bbbye for me...... *sobs* though i cannot go, people, do call me & tell me what happened & everything ok... maybe i'll leave my message with someone so that u all can read it out for me... *sobs* well well well, everything gotta end somehow anyway right? afterall, its a new beginning! *smiles*

2005-12-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy)

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.
In his opening address he said, We can't keep Christians from going to church.
"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth."
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their savior."
"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."
"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ."
"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:
"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"
"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.
"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."
"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending time with their children."
"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"
"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."
"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive."
"To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly."
"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."
"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."
"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."
"Invade their driving moments with billboards."
"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes."
"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. "
"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."
Give them headaches too!
"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."
"That will fragment their families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Clause to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death." "Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."
"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."
"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead. "Keep them busy, busy, busy!"
"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus."
"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrifice, their health and family for the good of the cause."
"It will work!" "It will work!"
It was quite a plan!
The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.
Having little time for their God or their families.
Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?
You be the judge!!!!!
Does "BUSY"
mean:
B-eing
U-nder
S-atan's
Y-oke?
Please pass this on, if you aren't too BUSY!
I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they love Jesus.
Do You Love Him?

I LOVe iseten

2005-12-29T09:11:00.000+08:00

I gladly declare that I love Iseten. =)
seriously, I never really shopped like I really loved it or something until yesterday. I bought quite a lot without me paying!! Isn't that great? =X If any of your friends or family has got the Iseten card, they probably know what I'm talking about. Yes, the Iseten Private Sale at Scotts Rd Shaw Towers. You probably won't be able to believe the crowd there at 10/11 in the morning.It's llike so early, yet so many people were already inside grabbing anything they see! haha. & quite a lot of them were just trying the shirts OUTSIDE the fitting rm. So long as there's a mirror somewhere, they'll just put on the clothes on top of what they had been wearing la. It looks............................kinda................. disgusting but yeah, want to waste time waiting for the fitting rm for 1/2 hr or longer? i bet you'll do the same thing too. Anyways, i think i bought the most =X actually wanted to buy another mickey bag but out of stock i think. yeah so sad. AH i bought a mango off-shoulder top. (do you understand what i meant by off-shoulder? haha you know those that slip off the shoulder? then it just falls at the between-shoulder-and-arm there....got that? haha nvm, so long as i understand) MANGO is nice!! haha. & a M industrie off-shoulder shirt too & 1 M industrie 3/4 pants & 2 skirts *i share with my sis one ok*. yeah that's all. it doesn't really seem alot actually. you see, there's like 30% discount here & 20% discount there... EVERYWHERE!! so it'll be a waste if i don't buy them right? i'll be in need of clothes for the new yr anyway right? *grins* yeah. so u gotta understand me. i think its the 1st time i ever chose my own clothes and literrally bought them.. phew! what a nice feel. finally i get clothes that I WANT. (*-*) so now i don't need to keep wearing my sis' clothes. but of cos i'll still wear them la. I mean, i only bought 2 sets ma. haha want me to keep alternating the 2 sets to wear? haha. i'm not like the liang2 xi4 mei4. I personally like the mango one alot. u know what, my elder sis was like, "hmm, this looks sexy..." then i was like "-.-'''''''' " haha. but there goes the joy of shopping & here comes the trouble of the BIG SALE. LONG QUEUE follows after. =/ took about an hr to queue & pay the whole load of stuff? & u won't be able to imagine how much we spent. of cos not only my clothes la. there's my 2 sisters, my brother in law, my brother in law's mum, bought stuffs for my 2nd sis' bf, my mum, my dad, my brother in law's dad too... so there were 9 people's stuffs. cost $1000+++ WOW. yeah. that's how much we spent. ahahahahaha.... we must have gone MAD.

I dunno if i've done the right thing. If i gonna regret & hurt u again, pls forgive me.
I only wish for things to go slower than it is.

my colour?

2005-12-26T11:00:00.000+08:00

ok this is pretty interesting. haha. u people gauge if its right.
but anyways, it just sounds like i'm the best person on this earth. which is not la. so basically, i think it kinda cheats people's feelings. haha.
Green
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!
Ya so how's that? good-hearted and giving?? gee. those who wrote all these results must be really gd at literature or something. haha. somehow, the whole paragraph just sounds so smooth & everything. haha. look, i don't wanna be like kenneth & be ALL green man. haha. just kidding.
oh ya, thanks to all u people who wrote about me in ur blogs LOL. basically is roxanne & sally la haha.
yesterday was CHRISTMAS. yeah. yesterday we went to eat pizza!! we as in my family. Then my sis said that some christians, one of which is her client, don't celebrate Christmas. hmm rather interesting and in fact amazing right? everybody thought it has always been the Church's thing. She said that it was because Christmas wasn't stated in the Bible so they basically don't celebrate them. ya. Well, personally i think even if we don't CELEBRATE it, it should be a day of REMEBRANCE and kinda renew our passion for Him isn't it? in fact, i don't use Christmas to actually Celebrate but rather thank God for everything man. phew, i guess i was at a loss when we counted down to christmas. at tha instant, i was at a loss of what to do. seriously felt like singing out loud a lot of things, but look, i can't possible just sing out loud in the crowd at orchard right? haha. yeah. maybe its just a way of my expression.
thank you all of u who bought me presents. even if some of u have not given me yet haha. i haven't give a number of people too. haha. some haven't even buy la! haha. pls gimme some more time kk. take it as new yr present haha. hmm yeah, really a BIG thank you =) till now, i've received a new wallet, a new Dido CD, a new swimsuit all by my family haha. yeah. so nice. but my biggest wish is still a new passion. i hope to receive it soon.
today gonna go for chalet and chalet and chalet again. well, this holiday has been tough for me i think. tough as in the plannings of what to do and everything. alot of things happened, despite small ones. i think, i'm not even fit to have big problems anyway. but people out there, listen, there's no single one person without problems at any time. even if u feel so free, feel so relaxed, there's always problems. not to be demoralising but to be realistic. =) afterall, its only through trials that we learn.
Freedom is not just doing whatever u like to do, but doing them with the end in mind & with responsibility.
spending christmas eve with roxanne, xiwen, brinda, jane, crystal, yuanxin, kelvin, jiajun, weixiong, zhihan, the 2 twins ( in which i only remember one of them is called alan. is the other one called alex? ah don't remember la haha), minhan, *die i forgot who else.* *oh no pls dun kill me* hmm,........ hm...... ah YES! eugene & pohtiong!!! ya. haha finally. yep. spending christmas eve with them is abit boring la haha but still fun kk =)
maybe i'm not gonna regret getting into 3E/4E anymore.
share with u all a song by Dido ok? =)
I haven't ever really found a place that i call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologise that once again i'm not in love
but it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking
it's just a thought, only a thought
but if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
well I deserve nothnig more than I get
cos nothing I have is truly is mine
I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea
to travel the world alone and live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
it's just a thought, only a thought

but if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
well I deserve nothnig more than I get
cos nothing I have is truly is mine

while my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
while I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try

well how can I say I'm alive

but if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy

well I deserve nothnig more than I get

cos nothing I have is truly is mine

AJC

2005-12-20T23:10:00.000+08:00

Guess what?

haha i got into Anderson JC.

my 1st choice. so nice right?

yeah i'm so happy!!

yeah, so happy... haix...

realised that no one in ahs is going to that "darn far" school la.

its like at YIO CHU KANG.

although frm my house it only takes 30-40 mins.

i only know that wilson tan frm catholic high is going?

zheng cong they all's fren la.

dun even know him la can.

later same class.......oh man!

suddenly really not excited lehx why ah

why why why

HAIX.

5-10 mins bus ride frm ur house?

haix. don't make me feel...haix.

ANYWAY, ROXANNE BACK!!! omgosh i love u i love u roxanne ahhhhhhhh

can i hug u pllllllllllss???????? lol

oh my... i really miss ya alot ook...

though i've seen u & i nvr say anything but i really really TRULY DEEPLY MADLY do miss uuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

REALLY......

oh my..........

let's go shopping together soon kkk hahaha

ok nothing much to write also.

BYE

BORED

2005-12-12T20:06:00.000+08:00

LOOK. i'm seriously BORED.

nothing to do la can.

can't go services and stuffs.

argh.

i'm BORED!!! u heard that??

there's so many things i wanna do but u wan me to go alone on the streets mehx?

i wanna go national library, wanna learn some stuff frm community centres, wanna teach tuition, wanna watch chicken little and perhaps love and maybe, flight plan ( i dunno if its on la but it was on the review on channel news asia a few weeks back. though i doesn't seem to be alive in Singapore but i still got the attraction from the review. still kinda remember ya.) and i wanna go shopping!! alrite alrite, i gotta admit, its go WINDOW-SHOPPING cos of my bankrupt-ness. i can't believe this, i spent 50 bucks in less than 2 weeks and i dunno where i spent it on! that's the worst part. and i nvr go town with it k, i swear! & i wanna go for volunteer too..... hmm.... haix. laziness is the big problem here. afterall, i dun wanna do them alone la. it basically defeats the purpose, to me. hmm i wonder if i should go learn singing...again... wonder if its expensive la. or should i learn guitar? like intermediate ones or another guitar? as in electric guitar la. haha. wa i'm still dreaming for my harp......aaaaaawww........... still remember i saw it the other time at centrepoint. oh..........my..............!!!! it looks so splendid...perfect....like a fairy on earth............ ooohh....

hmm, been dreaming all day. haha i was trying to read a book by stephen king... but after 2weeks plus le i've only read 1/3 of it. haha i guess i haven't been reading english books for a long time. still trying hard to practise on my skimming skill. still tend to literally READ them as in u know, like speaking in ur mind that kind. ya. horrible la. still haven't get rid of that habit. haha, perhaps i'm too "expertised" in my drama la, cannot blame, add in my emotions and tone in whatever i read... =X JUST KIDDING. =P

ahh.... sis has been at home all day & i'm slacking with her. i pity the comp now that we have the broadband. haha, its either she use or i use at all times. except when both of us are sleeping la haha. yeah. so ke lian. hmm. but my sis is like making full use of the comp, finding jobs and everything while i basically just slack, browsing through some blogs and doing some lame stuffs. yeah. i'm so ke lian too. aiyah, i'm waiting for SOMEONE to book me. ppppppppllllllllsssssssss..... but whenever someone wanna book me le den i always can't go. haix. just keep trying to book me la kkk =) hees.

ahh... i'm growing fatter & fatter & FATTER!!!! =X

yang^2 bday!

2005-12-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

yeah its yang yang's birthday!!
haha i'm so FULL now... all the food... lemme think.. there were fishballs, mango pudding, noodlles, curry, kebabs, vegetables. sushi, cake, konyaku jelly, chicken wing, ribs, fried fish, and so on so forth. haha so much rite? he's so pampered k. so many presents for him... though not many people come, only some relatives, he had so much present k. let's see, our family bought a small guitar!!! haha its actually those small small one which those hawaiians play. know? haha yeah. and i did some flash cards for him!! i think soon enough he'll have all the toys from toys r us la. its like, all his other presents are frm toys r us. soooooooo ggoooood.......... i'm JEALOUS!!!! =P anyways, so much food made my whole tummy bulge out frm my jeans. seriously. originally i already felt the tightness from my jeans. after eating, OH MY. *bllooopp* *opps* hahahah. once i got home just now, i opened that stupid button i had been focussing for so long. *aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh..........* hahaha. really la. i'm getting fatter so SERIOUSLY FAT. ok roxanne, u're not the only one ok, i'm getting fat too from all the eating & slacking & sleeping & eating & slaking & sleeping & again & again............. *phew* & i just realised this morning that TIME is passing so ssllllllllllloooooooooooowwllllllyyyyyyyyy..... yeah. cos i was looking through my new phone, adding some memos on certain special dates. guess what? O levels had only ended 3 weeks ago!!! or less la... can't believe it. it felt like more than a month!!! gee i'm in a time warp. ok, i dun know if i spelt correctly but so long as i understand what i'm writing. who cares if u understand anyway? *opps!* =p so... 1 more week before the results of the schs we're getting in for the 1st 3 months come out. haix. 1 more slloooow week ahead. argh. dun like. utterly. haix. suddenly i'm worried again. i dun exactly understand why i feel that way cos i've been & kept on telling myself that i dun need to. i already have dependance haven't i? hmm... i dun know. weird. let's sincerely pray that i'll be getting into AJC & able to stay in there FOREVER. not just the 1st 3 months i meant. haix................... but then........................ haix.................... u won't understand.

i think, i'm beginning to write like roxanne & xiwen. argh.

childish is maturity

2005-12-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

recently i've seen my senior's blog & i suddenly felt this sense of understanding in the inside of me. he says, childish is maturity. i guess, nothing can be more true than that. i wonder why actually. sometimes i think too many people are trying too much to actually want to be matured. nevertheless, because of the idea itself, it turned to childishness. isn't it so? say for exanple someone stays at a corner thinking that everybody is acting so stupid while he himself just acts cool at a corner, denying the playful enthusiastic side of him. i mean, i dunno how to say, its just an explanation in simple words. u get it? why is it that when one wants to be matured, they actually act childishly, and when one wants to be happy, they actually act as if they're the saddest person on earth??? like say u're in a relationship, sometimes because u want attention frm ur boyfriend or girlfriend, u'll look sad and he or she will just come over and ask alot alot and care alot alot. haha. yeah, get it now? everybody is doing it. i mean, i think people are abusing the act of ACTING. ahh... i fell like i'm talkingg nonsense but again, it sounds just so sensible. hmm, i wonder why i'm thinking so much about this. maybe it just "links" to me. i've been thinking about it throughout the whole of my pri sch class(es) chalet. yeah.... worth a thought perhaps. tested and proven fact i guess. haha. perhaps, the world can only be present when there're opposites. how God creates opposites. hmm.... just like the poem i learnt... is it snow or something... haha i forgot. shows how bad i am at my english literature. =P ok i guess i've spoken so much. yeah.

bored.

2005-12-07T15:37:00.000+08:00

sad. these days ain't easy for me. roxanne's gone to china, xiwen is like lost contact with me like that. replying messages only 1 or 2 days later. i feel so daaaaaamn down la. can't go service & camp. i feel so utterly pathetic for myself. i'm weird. & that rather stupid primary school chalet at downtown east coasta sands is like so....booooooooring. just imagine spending near 2 hours with a bunch of guys when u're the only girl? worst thing is i already.......how to say...... don't know them that well le ma right? ya so it was spent quite horribly. they were playing inside the arcade while i sitting outside sms-ing my friends. sian-ed k.gee i make myself so desperate for help at times. maybe i'm beginning to dislike myself again. i'm losing grip of the love in my life. the love for myself. argh. i dunno what i'm talking la. just feel rather irritated. ok everybody from primary school is like still the same. i'm so damn quiet during the chalet. i've changed ba i guess---innerly. but recalling the past was really fun. played a lot of games yesterday, between us girls la. played hmm.... the mrt station game which i just learnt and anyhow taught them..haha... and 1 game of mahjong. yeah 1 pathetic game of mahjong and then we kept it. haha so funny la can. we keep doing things for a short while then go back and do another thing for a short while and back again. like say we went to play pepsi-cola 123 for 1 time yea 1 time again and we went back to the chalet. lame rite? but ok la. quite a fun time spent with them. and we slept for an on-off 2 hours sleep. in case u dunno what i mean, on-off means half-asleep those kind. u know...like sleep then wake up then sleep. basically it equals to no sleep for me la. 2 pathetic hours. then i went back home and slept for 5 hours or more, straight. so nice. *yawns* later sstill gonna get back to the camp. for bbq in the night. probably staying over again. so boring. opps. i hope they dun see this.haix.

i look so stupid la can. so happy. duno why. roxanne's left & i feel all alone. if she's gonna go for LA for good, i think the 3 of us - xanne, jess & me, yeah... haix.... i dunno... i'm feeling the strong depression overwhelming me. shit. again.

2005-12-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

ok today my mood was ok.
haha what a start for a post online. haha.
anyways, 28th November was Graduation night, also called prom.
it was.... well.... actually.... kinda BORING.
we were almost late la can or rather we WERE late just that the dinner itself was much later than us!!!
haha.
ok, imagine this.
xiwen & roxanne were supposed to reach my hse at 3 or rather b4 that so that my sis can help them do the make-up & probably hair as well but guess what?
roxanne reached at 3.40 and xiwen reached at 4 or past 4.
yeah, so everything was kinda in a rush.
cos u see, we were supposed to meet enoch at 5.45 at tamp mrt then meet kenneth at bedok.
BUT............
we were only done with our concealer, foundation & blusher at 5.30...
yea. so EARLY RITE.
roxanne was like sweating while my sis did her make-up!! haha.
and guess what? xiwen had her hair rebonded when she actually only wanted to straighten it.
-.-" according to her, her aunt was much more excited over the night than her haha so cute la can. then her hair kinda made her face looked triangular that night in my opinion. haha. but it was still ok, better than looking messy rite? =) yeah, so we were sssssssssoooooooo late that kenneth & enoch came to my hse to wait for us instead hahaha... i wonder how enoch can remember the way to my hse when i don't even remember him coming over.. haha. maybe the new yr sheep thing? but that was like almost 3 years ago?!?! OH MY GOODNESS. so long le lah. gee i think he really got super super power-ed memory can. especially when his results are so good too. with reference to his distinction humanities. gee. is he a SUPERMAN??? nonono, a SUPER_MEMORY_MAN!!!! haha i'm funny. -_-"

so we ledt my hse at 7 when we were supposed to reach there at 7. so nice. haha. roxanne called a "LONDON CAB" but came a normal small taxi la can. so rather irritating when we're so late la. but nevermind, thank goodness i'm staying at tampines, cos my hse there even the smaller road also have lots of taxis coming along haha. yeah so in the end we took 2 seperate taxis. i waas like pls go faster pls go faster in the taxi only to realise that the dinner starts at 8+... waa.... scared scared la can. EEK. but well i realise that fullerton's food is so cheap-skate la can. worse than my elder sis' wedding one lohx.what a 6-star hotel. (#_#) somemore so nice of them... come out with the food so classy then say " may i help u serve into seperate servings" and there they go... taking so so extremely extremely long to serve us la. diao4 our wei4 kou3 can. (*-*) i think i only find the 1st dish nice, afterall its a norm at all restuarants to have that cold dish la. haix. pathetic us. & the MC, so lamed, not funny, & so boring. how i wish they have actually asked a DJ. i think even if flying dutchman an old guy can do MUCH better than him. geeeeee. and the games. haix at first i was trying to be enthu but in the end, i also sian-ed. 1st game was bingo but instead of using numbers, it uses objects then u gotta have all those things. but well, i still remember one of them was a black ladies' stockings. i was like (0.0) even if there's someone wearing it, who would actually take it off immediately la. so disgusting! EEW! then 2nd game was guessing some lame sounds & telecast music & some actors. hmm kinda boring. but well, the prom kings and queens... nothing special. they just did some dancing, some singing, some performed their so called "magic" which was like anyone would have guessed how they made it. yeah anyways in the end mingwei was the prom king & juliana was the prom queen. yeah. although i seriously don't agree for the prom king but well..... yeah that was the result. & i still don't understand how they can make our table to be placed at the side when it is table 7... i mean, the table numbers are all jumbled up la can. & i also don't understand how all the people frm our table can miss getting a single prize when there were 60 prizes!! oh my... i was like.... SHOCKED?!?! -_-" not even the games la. haha okok... but the dance was still fun to end it all. =)

wa my hands tired liaox haha. chat chat about the drama camp another day kk. =) goodnitex!

i'm ANGRY!!

2005-11-26T21:16:00.000+08:00

i'm ANGRY la k ROAR!!!!
humph i'm beginning to dislike my secondary school ALOT!!!
disgusting. awfully. uglily.
YUCKS.
those security guards are badies.
no humanity in them.
ok i wear slippers & told them i graduate liaox but what did he tell me when i go back to sch during this holidays???? ask me to GO HOME, change to SHOES then come back!
oh my. he actually asked me to do the most stupidest thing anyone would ever do.
well, if my school is not on a HILL i may try to agree to it but HEY, my school is like so ULU & FAR la k.
-.-"
ask me to go home & come back later.
still come out later, TRYING to explain that last time he at NUS also like that.
but look, NUS is a prestigous school la, lots of visitors walking around everyday of cos i can understand. even he himself dare to say our school is like... "what, this school, a peanut only la k".....
-.-"
anyways, they are weird cos they only block people from the FRONT GATE.
they are so BLUR.
there's like 2 OTHER gates OPEN.
-.-"
but well that's alrite. a few days later i still wear slippers again cos i forgot & what did they do?
did nothing & LET ME IN! ?_?
they are WEIRD.
ok nevermind.
today i'm IRRITATED.
i went back school for meeting at 4.
then someone came back in & say, "die, cannot go out, everywhere's LOCKED!!!"
we're like, what the problem la...
& NOBODY, i repeat, NOBODY came in to tell us that they're gonna LOCK the place!!!
*-*
so we were LOCKED. the 20++ many of us or more.
SO FUNNY. yea riiiiiiiiitte.
-.-
ok found uncle hassan later but welll.............
so nice of uncle hassan.
& in the end they took down our names la. thinking that they can give us demerit points?
i mean, we've done nothing wrong???
we're the victims, being LOCKED la k.
& they spent SO MUCH of our time taking down each & every one of our names.
gee, i guess they're just too free to actually just find anything to do la.
so irritated, we've done nothing wrong & they're booking us & wasted so MUCH of out precious time. could have made use of that time to take photos for the murder game la.
-.-""""""
when has our school become SO restricting?? i mean, quite unreasonable too.
haiz. today wasn't an exactly FINE day.
but i guess i uplifted it by eating KFC after leaving the school.
haha. just exactly what i always do.
EAT when i'm irritated or simply find some real sour drinks.
i'm just another typical girl.
somehow, i'm getting a little too excited to leave this school for JC after these "INCIDENTS". yep.

OK, i LOVE my drama camp group la k.
although got guai4 guai4 de ren but its ok, its still fun with them hahaha... *grins*
& we're gonna win for huan dao la i DUNCH CARE!!!!
haha the sec1s better run at the head, then i'll fork out more money to buy for STEMBOAT!!!
WOAH!!!
hahaha..... i'm such a LOVING senior.... =P
ok, the sec3s are fun... although actually i dun really know them that well but dunno y after the 1st meeting i already kind of bond with the whole group le lehx hhahahah...
i'm so SOCIABLE.
LOL.
& my group is like xiao3 ren2 guo2 like that, 3 like small sized kids haha... melody, rong ze & chuan yun. so cute la they.
& i guess the whole group almost anyone also got potential just that they need to play more & be more active & outspoken & be more xi4 ni4 in their actions will do hahaha.
yea, so nice la i love them.
& i'm with quanrung, haha... join their grp. so cute, other than yikee i've never been in the same grp with any one of them!!! haha... & bimbo-ing with joanna is FUN k.
so the whole idea is.............
MY GRP IS FUN!!!
hahaha....

Os... finally FINISH!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!

2005-11-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

ah yes. Os finally finish le.
gee i wonder how much i'll get... probably the same or worst than prelims.
ok, i'm prepared for the worst...................
=(
haha no la. i'm still expecting the best whatsoever. haha.
anyways, i'm purple-ish today.
haha i dunno y just feel that way.
hee.
yesterday my elder sis brought my whole family to this changi village hotel's italian restaurant!!! just to celebrate the end of my Os. so nice. =)
oh my gosh, its so nice la ok.
the clams in white wine, the crabmeat pasta.... the pizza.......... the ICE CREAM in honeydew................
oh my....
see lah, actually i already knew that she'll surprise me
LOL
but it was really nice.
can see the moon lying on the sea. lol.... *what am i talking?*
& the moon was like the salted eggyolk in the mooncake.
& i'm SERIOUS
haha. really!
anyways that was yesterday.
today, went IKEA. bought some small small stuffs adding up to 50 bucks & above!
oh my oh my, we sure know how to shop haha
aiyah sad. never go wild wild wet today.
cos yesterday ate till too late. don't have time to go buy swimming costume with my sis...
haix....................................
but its ok, it was fun at IKEA.
=)
*grins*
ok i go chat chat msn liaox. heheh...
bbye!!!

*smiles*

yec1 blog

2005-11-05T12:03:00.001+08:00

people,
ec1,
ah i'm really sorry...
i wanted to make a blog for u all
but end up only started the blog...
as in only signed up... haha
paisehx...
hmm...
its under blogger.com...
haha i'll send some of u the password k. =)

boo

2005-10-15T18:15:00.000+08:00

BOO
now i dunno which JC to go.
Anderson?
Temasek?
or appeal to Victoria?
or go St Andrew's for my literature?
so many things i'm unsure of.
xiwen, ah i know u called me while i was sleeping...about encouraging me to appeal for VJC...
i really appreciatte that. =) really.
i dunno where God wants me to go but of cos i will still try my very best.
=)
i will put VJC as my 1st choice still..
then i'll see at a later time between anderson & temasek ba...
meanwhile, i dun wan anyone to tease about anderson or the students there just becos of ur deep desire to tease me.
yep.
thanks.

cya all some time later =)

2005-10-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

i'm changing...
from a mature young kid to a childish teen.
why am i so different i ask.
why?
i see u grow
i see all of u grow..
form a childish young kid to a premature teen.
i'm proud of ya, yet confused myself.
who am i?
i do not know.
i'm all messed up.
i did the most stupidest thing
to quarrell on out last day of school together.
to argue my way through
when i knew u'll be hurt
why am i so evil
so smurk it off when u're angry?
somehow the hurt from the morning...
and the few days before
and the few weeks before
and the few months before
lurks right inside of me.
the hurt, the pain, the sorrow.
no one sees,
the tears in class.
no one sees,
me lying down.
no one sees,
anyone dropping down.
falling...right...DOWN.

perhaps, i'm just a little...
too far away.
insensitive, childish me.

results!

2005-10-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

ok update update!!!
prelims are out...
i've done.... =(
oh no...
haiz...
sad...
pretty bad...
how...........
i go ITE liaox.......
haha......
JUST KIDDING LA...
no la i did ok... pretty gd actually...
surprisingly, i didn't get C u know.. haha
let's see.. :
english b3
chinese a1
chemistry b3
physics b4
eng lit a2
ss b3 ]
geography b4 ] combine humans. b3
e maths a1
a maths a2

so basically i got 2 a1s, 2 a2s, 3 b3s, 2 b4s... ya...
L1R5 took english, chinese, chem, eng lit, e maths & a maths... & got .....
12!!!!!
wa....
i hit & broke my goal of 14!!!
yea!!!!
haha...
i probably going Anderson JC..
cos their english pretty gd...
hope to learn from them...
& also have chinese LDDS..
can continue my CCA...
then heard their academics getting great improvements & achievements by the years...
though its all the way at Yio Chu Kang, my hse is so near the MRT so not too bad..
& it takes about 45-50 mins train ride..
not tt bad la..
& the school near MRT too.. haha... 340 m away from it.. so near la..
not even one round of the 400m stadium track..
haha...ya.

ahh i got to go... cya! =)
take care peeps. *winks*

i thought it over already

2005-10-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

i just thought it over
i realise... i cant...
i mean... if u see this u should know...
i can't take up the time & effort...
to look after a "child"...
afterall i suppose i'm going to Anderson JC...
pretty far.. over at Yio Chu Kang...
so i'm expecting a hectic schedule...
well... & we're different... very... much too to overcome...
u're in poly i'll probably be in JC...
u're a free person for almost anything.. i'm not.
u're a wide-connection-of-friends person i'm not
u're a night person & i'm a morning person
u're fantasizing over almost anything but i'm a realistic one
u don't like crowds or jus go shopping but i do
u like doing card tricks & so on but i don't
u like to please people by cracking jokes but i'm the kind who just wanna be myself infront of others
& u always ask questions i don't know how to handle...
u care about me but i just don't see it i don't know why...
forgive me if perhaps, i'm being too insensitive..
i guess... i just cant...

sorry.

back

2005-09-24T12:52:00.000+08:00

i shall not use my sis' comp for too long so i shall just write a little.
1st, i know all of u miss me & i miss ya all too...
=)
i miss my shepherd & sheep(s) & caregroups...
i just finished my prelims & tt's y i'm able to use comp now.
prelims was pretty much ok...
my goal is L1R5 14... lemme have a little fun predicting my results..haha
english b4 or c5?
chinese b3 or a2?
english lit. b3 or a2?
combine humans b3?
chemistry b3?
physics b3?
emaths a1?
amaths a2?

so i'll probably get around 14 to 17,18 like that...
ok i wonder where i can go for the 1st 3 months la... -.-"

by the way i heard that cheng is taking over ec1?
haha hmm....ahh...lol...
i wonder how's it like.... hahaa..
no la, jiayou k cheng~!
ah so tt makes u my shepherd too is it???
interesting...haha...

ah for my sheep(s)... i suppose u all's exams coming pretty soon rite?
must jiayou ok. =)
i miss u all too =)
we'll still have shepherding ok

leaving? eek.

2005-09-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

ok i guess soon is the big time for seperation.
gee, i dun like tt lah can.
i mean, its not about i like it or not but...u know...
everything just seems so uncertain all of a sudden..
like roxanne says, 90% we won't go into the same course in JC or Poly.
cos we've got different interests...
i guess, totally diff.
unless like say roxanne go for deejay, xiwen go for acting & i go for theatre works then it'll probably be fun lahx
haha.
and roxanne i love ur last entry in ur blog ok.
i mean, it sort of just let out everything.
gee i dunno what i'm talking about also.

well, so many things happened...
sec1, i cant remember much with roxanne & xiwen cos we weren't tt close back then.
but i guess i still recall going to carmen's hse with jasmin...& joking with shuling everyday...
sec2, i always give excuses not to go CDS haha... then the haunted hse... ah, & the new yr watch movie with the 2H people..& the talentime & HIM & the chalet...
haha
sec3, hmm at playgrounds & so much more...
sec4, all the diff ideas & bullying of each other & our results...=X
haha. ya..
i guess, u all just make up my life & mould me into ME.
haha. yea.

i'm studying, blogging, reading blogs, sms online now la...
i'm bored at home ok.
since i was very young, i never thought of september holidays to be STUDYING time.
till NOW.
i can't believe it ok.
& i'm like seeing sec1 & 2 people chionging too when their exams are like...
1-2 months later???
argh i don't like this.

& roxanne, ya i guess its true tt we're keeping alot.
perhaps me la.
cos.. too many things just happened too fast.
i still can't accept certain things now.
well, we always clash & i dunno y.
in fact i feel like i'm always the third party & i jus feel so bad..
like last time pri sch also..
xiwen & fred also..
u & ken too..
u & joel too...
its just...
not too good a feeling ba.
then.. hmm i'll tell ya after O levels alrite? =)
i promise.
i'll tell ya anything haha.
& ya, look at this.
Goal
Me & You
me----you
me--------you
me-----------------you
me----------------------------------you
me----------------------------------------------------------you
me-------------------------------------------------------------------------------you

yea so this is it, if we work towards the same goal or have the same something in mind, we'll definately become closer. =)
i guess, we already have that something just that we're been ignoring it.
i don't know...
but well, we'll still be best of friends alrite?
u me & xiwen.
even if diff schs also can meet up everyday for lunch or window shopping..
lol.
promise.
=)

ah & if next time we all have boyfriends then we must introduce to one another too ok.
lol. then we must make them the best of friends too... lol.
ah & if any guy wan to date any of us must go through the other 2's interview 1st wahahahaha ok i'm so evil, later all of us no boyfriends... hahaha........... ok i'm siao-ing away....... cya! *winkx*

let's hope thiings are getting better

2005-09-03T00:52:00.000+08:00

ok we're decided to let things take its own pace...
as for now, frens.
ok?

today isn't a really good day but i guess, better than last few days.
english & chinese paper 1 today.
english was pretty...i wonder if i'm out of point...uknow...
then chinese...letter was ok but compo...hmm... abit can't think of what to write...
haha but pretty much ok..

the thing that hurt me was how enoch suan me...
well, i know he's joking...but.. he doesn't need to repeat so many times like he always does rite?
i mean, i'm left behind by the whole clique n he still suan me repeating tt they're going home liaox...
while i still gotta do my chinese paper 1..
gee i don't like tt...
i simply ignored him yet he still continue...
(-.-) it kinda hurts...

survey was lame. very lame.

today got our termly report and i think to quite a number of people's surprise, quite a no. improved.
nevertheless, there's always quite a large no. of us getting L1R5 20+ near 30..
my mid yr was 21 or 23 i think... most probably 23.
and guess what i get?
L1R5 16.
pretty relieving. pretty happy. pretty surprising.
prelim goal is 12.
heard ms teo say today tt 11 for prelim may be able to get us into VJC..
wa i wan la!!!
i mean, cos i wanna study theatre arts!!!
pls pls pls i wan i wan i wan...
i'm gonna pray real hard for this la can..
somemore i take elit... more chance!!!
just my english....abit.....
ah can de la....
ah.............
okok..
i'm getting a little exaggerated...
ok i gonna get back at doing my presents for CDS farewell party tml..
cya =)

for ur info.

my results:
english c5
chinese b4
a maths a1
e maths a1
physics c6
chemistry b4
combine humans b4
e lit a2

L1R5 : 16
i wanna improve on my english & sciences. =)

i...

2005-09-01T18:57:00.000+08:00

oh well, i just did what i shouldn't have done.
i went to cg, hoping that things will get better.
perhaps a hope inside of me to getaway from what's going on in my life..
but...
there's no such things as get-away i must say.
no such thing as putting all our burdens down for a moment.
if there's something wrong in ur life, and u try to escape from it,
u'll still get it no matter where u are.
cos its something wrong with ur life, not something wrong with the situation or place...
sometimes perhaps, friends are there for entertainment, a no-good-reason... perhaps a trouble too...
argh, i shouldn't have said tt..all that...
i cause too many thiings to happen to others... hatred, joy, jealousy, mood swings, anger.......
i dont know?
i need something deep...
deep enough for me to drown into...
and perhaps, lost for a good reason..
i need....

u

2005-09-01T12:57:00.000+08:00

Nobody's Home

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside,
find the reasons why.
You've been rejected,
and now you can't find what you left behind.

Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

CHORUS

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

CHORUS

She's lost inside, lost inside...
oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...
oh oh yeah

it was all my thoughts

2005-09-01T11:17:00.000+08:00

i went to school with a sunken heart yesterday...
thinking about what happened the few days b4...
all the pulling me up by my shirt in the early morning while i was sleeping...
all the pushing my head back & let the sun shine on my face...
all the throwing of my stuffs.. even the innocent farewell invitation...
i thought, the day may be better today...
i was thinking... if only i could contact & chat with him..
& what now?
he did sms me the night b4...the night i needed comfort...
but what?
he was only thinking about the past, the relationship..
i thought perhaps some holy spirit prompting him tt i'm in some trouble or sorrow or we just had some telepathy..
and this is what i get?
thinking about himself??
maybe i shouldn't think too much... maybe i shouldn't have blamed him so much.. maybe i shouldn't have expected so much too... maybe i'm too ignorant of him..
but the worst thing tt upset me most...
was that he only took so long... just 2 days ago to realise tt i haven't been messaging him... & i'm always the one who starts all the sms.... what is this? very hard to just send me a msg? very hard to just suddenly think of me & sms me?? i don't like tt i really dont.. i mean, its not like i'm expecting u to sms me every day or what... but since 2 yrs ago it has always been me. its like...u took 1 or 2 months or more to realise tt i haven't been msging u?
i don't know what to say...i really don't...
i'm jus upset at times...the way u treat me....

maybe u should just leave me alone for a long while...
a good long while... enough for me to think..... after O levels...

i really am afraid of the past as well as the future... it seems like there's no definate answer & i'm scared..
scared even though i'm holding on to a finger..cos its dark...ptich dark...
sometimes, we can't express well... sometimes, perhaps, we shouldn't have expressed..
it was too much to take in.. too much to lay on the table & feel proud of it.. cos it was too much to feel ashamed...
too much...for me to think... there's just too much...

i asked for stress so i may understand the need & urgency to study...
but this stress is getting too much... getting no where..
maybe, angel of mercy, u should just take me away........

i'm an idiot

2005-09-01T10:39:00.000+08:00

wan to know about the last times of me?
i was a slacker, ah lian...
not many knows..
not my family even...
i was the guai guai quiet girl infront of many...
well... i dont know why i'm doing this............

taunt me....taunt me further...u jus keep taunting me of my past & u dont' know it all...
past...love or tears i do not know...but its taunting me..alot...

i make mistakes.. alot..
but i'm changing..
can u pls wait instead of rushing me..
i need time...
i need life...
i'm not as perfect as i seem to be.

i'm disgusted by myself.

dunno what to say

2005-08-26T19:43:00.000+08:00

cheers!

i'm happy today.
i shepherded all my 3 sheep & i myself am shepherded.
haha.
i jus feel so motivated after my shepherding la can.
JacQ discussed with me abt alot of things & i jus got this great idea, this big dream for GOD!!
imagine.......
an arts school...
HOPE arts school...
teaching theatre studies...
drama...
music...
singing...
dancing...
everything...
wa! everybody do anything for GOD!!!
woah... COOL!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaha

alrite i'm currently motivated by:
- JacQ
- the purpose-driven life book
- sally
- xiwen
- peychyi's current situation
- my BIG DREAM
- my cuteness
- most importantly, GOD's WORD!!!

wa i can't stand it, i must do SOMETHING!!!
& sally, dun copy my nick in MSN!!!!!!!

God bless everybody. Live a life with purpose...pls. =)

weird

2005-08-21T19:58:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling weird..
or rather... my body is...
i've been feeling happy when i'm sad
sad when i'm happy
excited when i'm not motivated
slacked when i'm expected to be working..

gee, what's wrong with me?

these days i've been wanting to sleep in the afternoon
and wanna stay awake at night...

that is so unlike me...

water baptism

2005-08-21T19:30:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling weird today.. a lil' quirky..
=/
tt's y i'm gonna use green to write today haha...

today esther, try & shanrui going for water baptism..
wa i really wished to go & cheer them on..
but its frm 3 to 6... so late...
its ok, i'll cheer myself on next time! lolx..

hmm... i woke up at 5.30 then went back to sleep..
woke up again at 8 then went back to sleep at 8.30..
woke up again at 9+...
i felt.... really tired...
in the afternoon i slept again at 2+... woke up only at 5++ near 6
pigging whole day today.....
gee i dunno what's going on with my body
i guess i gonna stay awake the whole night tonight to finish my stuffs..
homeworks, tests, revisions..
seems like alot of things but i'm not urged to do them...
not getting the stress yet... not pretty gd abt it...
i'm pretty messed up these days..
i keep thinking abt....
ah i shouldn't be saying this but...
its true that my brain is full of his image and ringing with his voice & promises...
gee i dun like tt...
ppl pls dun follow me ok...
argh.

ok, i trying to download this song called strong enough by sheryl crow..
=)
it shall motivate me!!!

Do all things for the glory of the Mighty God!!!
I wanna be a reflector
I wanna shine with Your glory
I wanna let the WHOLE world know that Jesus lives in me!

i shouldn't be holding on to the past...its just..not gd...=/ =\ =/

happy

2005-08-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

i wan 2 affirm my sheep(s)

sally,
u've changed alot & i really c u grow in the lord n in the cg!
heex.. now u're forever entertaining us =P
so cute ah u... but i'm still cuter! haha
cos u're FAT! faithful, available, teachable
& i suppose u know about tis already...
u're gonna be candace's shepherd!
yea, great job in outreaching, gal!
reap from ur sowing!
also, u've been asked to lead worship for the coming cg! jiayou k...
dun worri, jus depend on God.
=)

peychyi,
u've been a very open sheep to me & i'm really grateful to that. =)
u're also v obedient... but one thing, be obedient not only to me but most importantly, to God.
yea. see that u've been trying alot to change for the better =) its really gd.
dun worri about outreaching, do ur best & God will do the rest.
stay firm in ur stand for God and always trust in Him for all things.
i wanna affirm ur faith n commitment to God n cg too..
still remember the past week cg when u came to lead praise even though u were kind of seriously sick. wow, i was really amazed.
continue with the spirit of commitment.
=)

xiwen,
u've been thinking a lot... n growing..
i wanna tell ya that u've been growing even though u do not see it. really.
i still remember yesterday u smsed me n asked about a verse in the Bible.
i'm amazed by ur spirit of knowing more n the exact words of the lord.
its really great.
reading more doesn't neccessarily means knowing more.
its how deep u read into the words.
like literature, the amazing part is how the few words can have such great impact.
yea. n u've been searching for the impact.
yearning n learning is gd.
=)

God i thank you for all my sheep. thank you for their growth in you. may they continue to live a life for u n to serve you o lord. lord i pray for barriers and challenges to come infront of them so that they make be able to cross over them n run to u lord. God i realised that the more i spend time with them the more i get to know them better n the easier i can get them to focus on u n ur people god. god, these days i've been having the sudden urge to worship you n go for cgs n services o god. the feeling of the past. i realised that i've lost touch with u, lost the purpose of serving ur people. God, i repent. lead me back to u. let me know that u're always with me, holding on to me. God i also pray that u'll lead me n my sheep(s) n my whole cg n my whole church to overcome all our weaknesses. God, guide me in all areas n lead me to do whatever u wan me to do for ur people. for ur glory. In the powerful n glorious name of Jesus, Amen.

sorry..

2005-08-19T19:46:00.000+08:00

sorry i dunno what i've been up to these days..
haven't been shepherding my dearest sheep(s)...
actually i have already prepared them...
but...
i'm just not "emotionally right"...
ah... i duno.........
sorry...

2005-08-13T15:04:00.000+08:00

zi-lian-ing in progress...

zi-lian-ing in progress...

chinese O levels result

2005-08-13T14:14:00.001+08:00

chinese O levels results
got a B3..
ok i'm sad i really am..
or maybe not.. jus disappointed..
i wanna say that its unfair.. but no tt's not rite..
i mean, i who need chinese for my L1R5 got B3 and gotta retake..
but xiwen and roxanne who may not need and are more interested in poly got A1 and A2??
what's more is my usual tests and exams got better than them too...
its jus.. a bit unbelieveable to me...
hard to accept for now i guess...
if my chinese get so badly, what about my other subjects?
gee, i can't think...
but its ok, i wanna retake and i'll make sure i get an A1.
i will not give up.
with the A1 i can testify God and tell others that i perservered on despite the disappointment..
i know i've got the ability to get A1 and i will get it.

alrite, i shall not ponder on tt too much..
anyways, i've been zi-lian-ing a lot these days hahahah...
really lehx.. i wrote a lot on my foolscap paper's cover..
LOL
lemme show u some hahaha...

chinese O levels result

2005-08-13T14:14:00.000+08:00

happy

2005-08-11T16:47:00.000+08:00

wa i've got lots to THANK GOD for!!!

ok on tues my 2ns sis and her bf kinda quarelled..
i keep praying for them cos i really dun wan to see them break up after so much and so long..
i mean, they went thru so much together won't it be a waste if they were to start looking for another partner for life again rite..

next is my poor sheep...
hmm cos sally had flu during cg...den she look kinda moody haha...
but thank god for the long holy com...
we shared about each other & it kinda at least made her .... smile!
haha....
i mean, she look so cute when she smile loh... like hamster!! lol.
no la, cos a lot of people sick...
then since wednesday, peychyi, sally, serene.... they all sick... including roxanne..
aiyoh... so ke lians...
den i pray pray pray for all of them and guess what??
sally's throat got better yesterday night!
wa... really thank God, He's as amazing as he can be...
then i was able to buy stuffs for my 3 little sheep la haha...
for sally was the cough sweets...
peychyi the muscleache gel...
xiwen.. actually wanna buy her ballpoint pens then it turned out to be pencils..
haha... so sorry xiwen... =P

hmm next, i thot today had chem test la.. i mean, i suddenly remembered only in the afternoon when i was about to go out..
then i couldn't concentrate on my studying... almost fell asleep on the train, with the bk open..
that's rather stupid rite?
=/
so today i went sch feeling tired...
wanted to study chem but i really can't stand.. i dunno why i so tired..
so i keep praying to God saying that at least i must be able to remember all the info i'm seeing..
and in the end guess what?
chem test is TML!!!
wa thank God thank God!!!
*phew...

yea.. so tt's all... =)
thank God!!
-smilex

bored. went to change passport photo jus now

2005-08-10T18:58:00.000+08:00

today i went to change passport photo with my mum jus now at lavender.
hmm needed ic... told my mum i forgot to bring along... yep.
anyways, the queue to take photo is like so long..
then the machine very cute.. like neoprint machine haha...
but actually only a camera inside lol
ya.
the thing is, i took 3 times b4 i got the 'near-perfect' photo..
haha cos if i smile widely, my eyes look soooo small and sleepy.
so in the end took a photo which i wasn't really smiling but my eyes look...
well... more awake?
haha...
well i was really tired la..
after all the queuing...
almost half an hour..
=/

haha jus now chatted with sally on msn.. so funny...
ok i keep bullying her =P

by the way, i'm broke...
seriously broke.
hmm but i still bought some neccessities for my 3 dearest sheep
lol.
let's hope they really make full use of it =)

-smilex people.
always end ur entry smiling. =)

God, pls bless all who are sick Lord. And i really thank u tt i'm gd and well.
may them guide and keep their bodies well, cos its ur temple after all. =)
Thank God for all the treatments available due to technology!! YAY!!!

ah... stupid names

2005-08-09T17:54:00.000+08:00

alrite i'm having crazy ideas for ec1
ok, not onli me haha
jacq was thinking of having same haircut!!
tt means we gotta cut same as sally cos hers is da shortest!!
haha actually i dun mind...was thinking of cutting short hair anyway...
must try out new exciting stuffs ma
LOL

alrite, and i thot of having names... all start with J
hahahahhaha
jacquelyn ------------ still Jacquelyn
shanrui ------------ Joanne
angel ------------ Jan
yingling ------------ Jingling
vivian ------------ Jivian
shinling ------------ Jhin
peychyi ------------ Jey
sally ------------ Jelly (haha i can't think lol)
xiwen ------------ still Jess
esther ------------ Jesther
tryphoza ------------ Jhoza
wanxi ------------ Jancy
Amanda ------------ Jamanda
and
me ------------ Jelle???

hahaha okok... tt's lame..
sorry for those whose J-name sound like...i-dunno-what...
hahaha =P
quite funny though...
for example sally's.....Jelly...
can't blame, tt's the 1st name i thought of hahaha

national day

2005-08-09T11:26:00.000+08:00

alrite.
didn't get to hang up the national flag again.
rather irony, its like the nation and government is trying to get us to hang up the flags but NTUC's flags are like....out of stock...
can't believe this..
well, patriotic day it shall still be
haha...
sally n all of u out there...don't be jealous k, i'll be having pizza hut tonight!!!

wahahahhaa

ok, i sound like the cartoon's witch...

anyways, yesterday's caregroup ended very late.
but i thought, it was really a heart-toheart time spent...
i mean, we got to know more abt each other isn't it?
=)
and today's no school too ma haha

by the way i jus adopted an animal.. haha
i mean, adopt in my blog haha..
ya, its a penguin and i called it rain.
everybody say hi to rain!!!
haha, ok i'm lame.
i named it rain cos i thought that it suited this blog too haha..
yea.

cya ppl...
-smilex-

*if i were to have a name that starts with 'J' , what shall it be? jacelyn? haha..

sudden thots for CDS

2005-08-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

got these sudden thots for Chinese Drama Society..
don't know why...
i was looking through the pamphlets (whatever its spelled as)
of xiang ying 2005..
well...
looking thru the summaries of the stories and the actors & actresses' names..
i was wondering if the stories will actually become my real life stories..
and how would i feel now if i acted and not gave up........
ok i know its not right for me to feel that way...but.......

sec4... all of us have grown up alot..
we've went thru a lot too...
still remember when we 1st came in, we were looked as AP juniors...
then came in conflicts between us...
then cliques and gossips...
then scoldings by LLB...
then performances for chinese new year and cca selection day...
then sports day where we went to buy water for all the sec4s..

and so much more...

its August...
farewell party coming..
i wonder how the atmosphere will be like..
gee, i think i will cry like mad..
pardon me if i really do k..
alrite, this depicts my need to save lotsa money to buy gifts for all da juniors
lolx
c i so good..
worst come to worst i gotta withdraw money frm my bank..
well, should be worth it la hoh
haha
LOL

kk, gotta go do homework..
so much for these 6 days..
phew...
cya!!

*tml celebrating national day.. hope it rains so we can slack in the hall =P
and we gotta wear RED!! pengx!*

photos

2005-08-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

pepper!!!
<- 28 packets...
ate at mac after 2.4 km run...
we are lovers of pepper!!!
me, xiwen, roxanne, kenneth n enoch!!!

hmm student council investiture

2005-08-04T16:37:00.000+08:00

school switched yesterday and today's timetable..
cos of student council investiture... and Dr Boon's plans...
hmm... they say is because Dr Boon got something else on wednesday so had to have the assembly the next day.. so ma fan...
but still ok la, the whole thing was ..hmm... entertaining?
anyway, it was not very nice and i think they made it too formal.. esp when they actually invited other school people for our school internal programme... -.-"

anyways, today english lesson went to comp lab and roxanne just created a blog to write stories.. if interested to give comments or just read it, go www.taledrops.blogspot.com . yep.
xiwen, roxanne and i gonna be the ones to write in... if u got any stories to share, can jus tell us haha. ya.

nothing much to say today... tml 2.4km run @ east coast park... haix..sians.. i think we jus walk will also pass de lohx.. anyways, its like raining heavily these days, wonder how it'll be tml..

pondering......

caregroup!

2005-08-03T21:12:00.000+08:00

today caregroup real fun!!
esp the praise den the singing of "welcome to my life" n much more!!
and haha... sally prayed infront of all of us! cool! and pretty loud too!!
great job sally!
and to all my other sheep, don get too stressed studying or find school a hatred k!!!
imagine if we nvr go sch, den we won't get to know each other now!!!
can u imagine how u're leading ur life meaningless now without God??
so treasure school life k
haha..

cya!!

oh ya, and today celebrate esther and shanrui's birthday, so cute!! haha...
and ec1 ate one whole tub of 2 litre icecream!!!!
nice!!!
yummy!!!

service

2005-07-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

woah! i went service yesterday!!
finally...
haha before that i went to clementi sec fun fair with roxanne... as promised..
den got the chance to go to service after that!
hee... but sad thing is i din get to pull roxanne to come service as well..
i think she missed a lot!
but its alright i respect her decision! =)
i know God will still work on her and be with her through whatever she's going through.
anyways, yesterday service i was kinda late.. came in onli during worship but the worship was great! haha i really felt God flowing inside me!
and the sermon, not only was it applicable to new believers but also to current old old christians haha..
talk about how christianity is like.
just one verse and it teaches us so much!
God's word is really amazing!
christianity is about living with God, not just plain doing for God..
so christians out there, don't feel weary about serving God, i rather u all lead a prayer-filled life!
hmm so happy yesterday...
saw a more open sally, a more enthusiastic peychyi, a more funny esther and so much more!
i really feel tt ec1 is getting more fun and loving and bonded! cool!
i can't wait for this wednesday's caregroup! haha
so funny, yesterday we were competing for caregroup roles haha...
this week's caregroup shall be memorable k!! hee...

things on for this coming week:
monday-
discipleship seminar [ 3.30-6.00 ]
tuesday-
shepherding
wednesday-
caregroup!
thursday-
shepherding
friday-
prayermeet
band practise
festival of praise(though i'm not going)
saturday-
service meeting 1.30 @ tamp control!

yea that's all! i betta go study for my tests le... got emaths n geog tml... den chemistry on tues!
cya!!!!!! muacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =P

useless me

2005-07-22T21:19:00.000+08:00

have u ever feel like breaking down?

i think that song the phrase suits my feelings now.
seriously, i feel so useless.
i'm not a gd shepherd, not people-oriented, not sensitive to people's needs.

wed,
had cme lesson.. Mrs Goh taught us abt prioritising our work.
there was this survey to prove whether we're either at procrastinator, prioritiser, yes-man or slacker.
haha, guess who am i? a prioritiser..
HA HA HA
not funny at all.
i'm not at all.
perhaps yes, i can prioritise,
then later forget
then later end up doing nothing.
back to square one.
that makes me both a prioritiser and a procrastinator.

thurs,
went esplande with xiwen n roxanne
jus for the haagen daz chocolate fudge cake...
xiwen got the $10 voucher given by Mrs Goh anyway.
then we ordered an espresso...
it was seriously bitter...and rather sour..
cheat our feelings, such a small tiny cup lohx.
yeeks.
then i went to find joel.
he came tm anyway so find him 2 give his bookmark.
he looked different...again....
now his hair longer..
it looked...... pretty ok,
probably i'm just not tt used to it.
at night we chatted on the phone..
he told me about this song called gloomy sunday..
it caused a lot of deaths and was banned..
heard its released again.
then we chatted about some church staffs..
then he helped me about looking after my 4 sheep.
hmm... he really is a sensitive guy, knows a lot abt how people feel..
then we also talked abt last time...
i guess it was a great chat..
to open ourselves to each other again.
and make things clear again.
i realise,
i was really childish...though i was told tt i'm mature...

today, friday,
went to dunman high for the social studies symposium.
don't really like the whole thing..
esp the 1st part by the professor...
i expected alot frm him.
in the end, he talked abt the case on the teacher n students idoling hitler
well oh well, i felt tt it was of much use...
and hitler is for history students only..
n if u don't know, i don't take history for ur information.
so it was rather wasted.. as in of no use to me.
1 hr of no benefition.
then was the tea break..
nothng much abt tt.
next the teacher's part..
hmm, she went thru the "survival kit" pretty fast.
den spent so much time on some kind-of-stupid hands on things.
calling people out to compare their watches and bags and stuffs like tt.
i felt.... not funny at all.
at the end of the symposium, i felt tt it was not as beneficial as i thought it would be.
disappointed.
then worst thing is when we reached bus stop wanting to go home, xiwen suddenly say wanna walk to the other busstop where she got direct bus home.
den i was like then we walk together lohx.
in the end, it got quite serious...not until argument but xiwen was in bad mood.
rather sad i think.
i dunno how it became like tt
i dunno how to show care for her i think.

i feel more useless than how she thinks she is.

i took 2 hrs b4 i reached home...
walked 2 busstops with xiwen
den waited v long for the bus to go bedok interchange.
in the end waited so long still nvr come..
waited for abt 30-40 mins.
in the end boarded another bus.
so it took another 30 mins for the bus ride to bedok.
so tt's how i took 2 hrs going home

xoang ying 2005 aka na yi ye

2005-07-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

woah. i'm so tired.
being in the make-up, i think we reallly rushed through trying to help them make-up within like 2 hours or less. In the end, quite a mess. haha
but no matter what, it was hard n tiring but worthwhile.
still praying for xiao wei's brother.. he met with an accident..den she gotta rush to hospital..
So in the end only the 3 of us (joyce, me, serene) xie mu... hmm...
performance in the evening was so much better than the afternoon's one.
afternoon, not only were the seats not filled...which is like quite a lot.. , the people were rather sadist too... laughing at not funny stuffs.. also dunno y haha...
night one was so much more responsive...
xie mu i cried... when i sang xi ju zhi ge, there was this sudden fulfilment n sadness inside me.
fulfilment is that we showed llb tt we can do it n it was really based on our own efforts. sadness is because, as u know, sec4s...leaving CDS soon... perhaps just another month or so n its our farewell already... haix...perhaps no more performance for some of us.. perhaps like the drama, we'll only meet 5 yrs later...for once...
well, no matter what happens, our batch will still remain in my heart =)

anyways, now already 12 plus.... which is my spiritual birthday le!!!!!! haha... yea man...
cool... aiyah, today can't go service because of performance.. somemore special service... but its ok! my effort in this performance is based on God's work through me! yea.. though i did not go service, i made it worthwhile by praying for others... hmm... next week i shall go the next special service called CRAVE!!!!!! haha... and the caregroup cartoons... so excited!!! haha.... yea...

hmm really tired now.. still gotta bath cos of all the glitter on me.. haha thanks to joyce...............
hee... kk nitex everyone
*g00dn1te*

spiritual birthday!!!

2005-07-15T21:53:00.000+08:00

ahh.... my spiritual birthday coming!!! haha
GREAT man!!!
today is 15 july and my bday's on 17!! wooohoo....
its my very 1st bday!! hee so excited..
anyways, special service these 2 weeks' saturdays...
heard its real cool with multimedia clips (like drama ) den singing and dancing halfway through...
woah...
anyway east C and D having costume caregroup too haha
its gonna be at aquarius condo's function rm..
the same place as the christmas party 2Jayers had 2 yrs ago...
so funny... there's gonna be this drama n the theme is like fairy land and cartoons...
so there's gonna be characters like little red riding hood...3little pigs...
cinderella...snow white and me acting as Jasmine.. u know, the one with aladdin
so funny.. the script is really funny..
ALL ARE INVITED!!! come down and join us man!
its gonna be real fun with all teenagers guys and gals!!
den my lines are very mushy and stuff...haha but cute la.. haha
check it out man!!
its gonna be real fun!!!

*really looking forward to that day!!*

my sheep

2005-07-10T13:50:00.000+08:00

Lord Father in Heaven,
God, I really thank You for the works You've done in my life and through my life.
I can see all the GREAT things..
seeing how all my sheep have grown and how my attitude towards shepherding and Your Word,Lord.

Xiwen, she has become to treasure You more. That You have blessed her by softening her mother's heart.
God, You are truly great and amazing. Xiwen's mum allowed her to go to church so much so that it seems to be a normal thing now. God, may You contnue to live in her, bless her Lord. God, i pray that xiwen may know how to treasure You more and to treasure and love her family more as well. I also pray that she'll be able to manage her time well into studying and also into spending quality time with You God.

Sally, she has also become to be more out-spoken, relative to many others and to proclaim You out loud, Father. I thank You for always keeping her in Your arms and may You continue to speak to her in her prayers God. God, I also thank You for the encouragements she has been giving me, through Your Word God. Lord Father, I pray that I may be able to spend more time with Sally, that she may continue to learn God. Lead me in my speech Lord, that she may be encouraged every now and then and build up her faith. Lord, I also pray that her little faith may reap lots of rewards. Also, I pray that she may look forward in every shepherding that we have.

Peychyi, she has been trying very hard to do her quiet time. God, I can also see how she wants to be mad for You everywhere she goes. God, I pray for her discipline that she may be able to discipline herself into spending quality time with You each and everyday Lord. God, I thank You for her yearning to do great works for You God. May You bless her and lead her in everything she does. Lord, I also pray for her speech that she may be able to differentiate things she should say and things she should not say. God I pray that her mindsets may be set right before each word she say or each actions she take, Lord. Lead her to do great works for You. May You bless her.

Pingmay, she has been more able to meet me up for shepherding recently. Also, I thank God that she has been more interested in outings and time spent with our church people. God, I pray that she may be able to relate with our church members more and realise the need to live in You Father. God, I also pray for her health that she may be strong, both physically and spiritually. Also, I pray that she'll not be stressed out by her studies and also to realise that studies is not everything in her life. Nevertheless, may You bless her strength and discipline that she may be able to study with quality in her limited time God. God, may she turn to You each day, and thank You for every little thing in her life. God, may You bless her and keep her in Your arms.

God, I really thank You for so many things and EC1's growth, Lord. Each time i pray to You, I am just so refreshed Lord. God, I thank You not only for my sheep's growth but also for my growth through my sheep Lord. That even though i may not be able to attend services on saturdays I am still able to learn from my shepherd and sheep even as I teach my sheep. God, You're a truely great God. I thank You with all my heart. God, I always pray for a vision, to know where You want to lead me to. I pray that I may be able to see a vision to live in You God. God, I also pray for a revival in Anglican. That more may be saved. Use us Lord, may You bless us and lead us such that Y-hope in Anglican may grow! God, i also pray for all my sheep that they may find their sheep as well God.

All these I pray in Jesus' name,
Amen.

trials

2005-07-10T13:22:00.000+08:00

what are trials?
examinations? love downturns? no money?
we humans only know how to complain.
i guess i've grown up, to know how to think.
no services for 4 weeks.
But i've grown.
grown to treasure God more.
My family, would you tell me why all of you disallow my belief?
why all of you think its only in the mind of mine but not the truth?
Do you ever realise the more you all restrict me from going to Him, the more i am moving towards Him?
The reason is not because I'm stubborn, but because He truely lives in me.
I'm closer to Him not because i chose to tell Him everything but that He tells me that He is always there with me.
Love seems to be more open between me and Him. Its the kind of true love i see in Him.
Through these days, I've seen how He touch my life, change my perspectives, and through me, lead others to grow in Him.
sacrifices = surprises and rejoice.
Perhaps all of you disallow me 'cos of the givings and offerings, and that you all are scared i may not get married in the future.
Life is not all about money and marriage isn't it.
The thing in life is that one should be happy and live in the truth isn't it.
givings leads me into the spirit of sharing. its not as bad as you think.
as the bible says in 2 Cor, givings lead to equality and love.
as for marriage, you say you allow me to be christian only if I'm married to a christian...
Well, so am i supposed to say " I like a guy now" or " I like a christian now"?
I know you all are worried but I believe that I'll make a better daughter for you because i still yearn to do so no matter what happens.
Please believe in me...

sec4 sem2

2005-06-28T17:55:00.000+08:00

sec4 semester 2 starts.
i kinda lost my memory of last sem's classroom scene
can't believe.
happily i went to sch early in the morning but i forgot where i'm supposed to sit.
(-.-)
anyway my class is having this new maths teacher this semester and she's none other than mrs ong.
don't really know her actually but she seems kinda nice.
but one thing is, she teaches quite slowly...
and from these 2 days, i realised that she keeps saying wrong words
then she'll say to herself," oh what am i saying, saying the wrong term for it. sorry sorry.."
last thing about her is she doesn't teach as fast as Mr George Tan and not-as-amusing as him.
(-.-)
the new timetable kinda weird.
maths only on monday, tuesday and friday.
2 lessons on monday and tuesday each.
so nice.
one in the morning the other in the afternoon.
2 hours of maths a day
at 1st i thought...surely won't make us go crazy sia c".)
but after today i realised...
actually that's pretty ok...
don't need to bring as many books too haha.
another weird thing is our CME lesson.
odd week on monday, even week on wednesday.
hmm and Mrs Goh our dearest discipline mistress is teaching us life skills for 8 whole weeks.
phew. *rolls eyes* bored....
(-.-)
but well oh well lesson's still as per normal.
just that sitting beside enoch tests my patience cos of his sarcasm.
but can be fun and amusing too haha.

actually suddenly i feel that a lot of things overwhelming me.
homeworks, cg roles, cg events, shepherding, cca performance...
but its ok. affirmation : I CAN DO IT.
as Mrs Goh says, our Belief determines our Action and thus determines our Results.
its a BAR loop.
yep.
ahaha.. i feel so clever applying what i've learnt =P
ok gtg cya!
-smiles.

kuala lumpur aka cameron highlands

2005-06-21T15:36:00.000+08:00

woah. went to Kuala Lumpur from 19-20 June. set off on sat night(18th) and reached on tues early morning(21st)... decision was made only 2 days before the actual trip. haha, my dad just said, "let's go KL" and so we went. pretty rash ya haha.

18th, sat night
whole family went to eat dinner at Pan Pacific hotel to celcebrate Fathers' Day.
the restaurant was on level 37. pretty high.
From there can see the Padang Field, with the National Day setting.
while waiting for the food the waitress suddenly told us to look out of the window.
haha
guess what
fireworks!
i suppose they were rehearsing then.
i wonder how much they spend on the whole national day paradde thing.
Its like they even put fireworks for rehearsals. but of course not that much of fireworks as on the actual day la, only about 3 or 4... interesting.
the hotel. its not for me to say but the time taken for the hotel to serve the food is really S-L-O-W.
we went late as usual. me, mummy and dad went up first cos elder sis and her in-laws was already upstairs. then 2nd sis and her bf went to find a parking space for the car.
Well, we went up first then elder sis called for the food to be served.
but guess what?
the food wasn't served even when 2nd sis and her bf came up! and still gotta wait some more.
i-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g
we went at 6+, reached at 7+, finished eating at 9.40
how nice
we almost missed our bus to Malaysia
dad was so rush and kind of irritated.
i pity my sis' bf...
gotta drive us there on time.
thank god the bus station is at lavander MRT, kinda near suntec, near the restaurant
phhew.

19th, sun
reached KL at 3.30
the bus is so on time. they reach at EXACTLY 5 hours.
the bus was great i think. real spacious. only bad thing is that its engine is too loud.
i couldn't really sleep. but once i sleep it was a real deep comfortable sleep.
reached KL den 2nd sis tried calling my cousin so that he can pick us up to his house
called quite a number of times but couldn't..its either the number wrong or the wrong way or never pick up.
what's worse is that there's this indian or malay guy keep tagging us, insisting that we need to take a taxi.
but the thing is we don't have the address!! aiyoh. horrible terrible incorrigible.
he even tagged us all the way over to the other side of the road.
then we tried to explain that " u know, our cousin is picking us up so we do not need a taxi...blah blah blah..." after we could contact our cousin.
phew.
our cousin came and we went to his house. just the car ride to his house alone took about 45 mins.
then we went to sleep for a while till 8 or so and we were then on our way to Cameron Highlands!
set off at 9, went to eat bak kut teh for breakfast and then guess what time we reached Cameron Highlands the hotel we staying overnight? 4+ in the afternoon!!
the expressway alone to the foot of the mountain took 1 hour
that was pretty okay.
going up the hill was......wavy.......haha
as in the road seriously swerved here and there....all the way up.
it took so long because we stopped a lot and for quite long too la... haha..
say we stopped at the waterfall... cameron valley tea plantation....and so on...
we stayed at a hotel called EQUATORIAL.
its seriously at the peak of the hill i think.
at 1628m above sea level.
not really that high right.
it was really cold up there i tell ya. its like around 19 degrees in the afternoon!
we were living in air con without on-ing the aircon
the people there really save lots of money without the need of using the air con.
so nice sia.
that evening sis had some stomach problem, pain and no appetite.
didn't go down for dinner.
then we had durians there. outside the hotel.
haha so funny
we were so cold till we literally eat durians, SHIVERING!
haha
yepx.i suppose that night was approximately 14 or 15 degrees.

20th mon
we went walk walk around the hotel. all the plantations..
cactus...vegetables...strawberries...
haha dad was so anxious about the strawberry farm he keep rushing us in the morning to go eat breakfast earlier.
anyway that morning we saw sun rise right at the hotel room balcony. so cool.
yep right at the balcony we can see so much of the plantations and the sun we saw was so RED!! and ROOUND!!!
haha ya
den we quickly took pictures with it. the sun rise was fast. suddenly about 5-10 mins later the sun hide in the dark clouds or fog ( haha i dunno...) le
den about another 15 minutes later, the whole sky was so filled with the clouds or fog. haha
anyways when we saw the sun, we also saw the clouds and wind moving... really is like a line fly past den yet another line... den another.............
haha cool.
check out at 12 den went back my cousins house.
on the way back, i vomitted. kinda ate too much for breakfast and lunch i think den the car kept swerving here and there till i was feeling faint and dizzy den puked.
eeks.
at night went to eat dinner at some seafood restaurant. pretty good =)
den had some more time before getting on the bus so we went the bus station nearby where they kinda call it sometihng like our chinatown
haha ya
but they anyhow state the price. when u walk off then they'll say "ok la ok give u that price since u want it lohx."
='.'=
don't exactly like that place.
so later we took the bus back home le

21st, tues
reached singapore at 4+
took taxi home.
phew the the taxi driver drove so fast
but good for us cos can save our money. good for him too so he can quickly drive someone else.
haha
yeah reached home dead tired.. mum still need to work at 6.30, dad at 7..
hmm den we packed the things, bathed and went back to sleep.
actually wanted to wake at 7+, in the end woke at 11.. missed chinese lesson but still went to school to find my chinese teacher to see what she taught.
joined CDS for a while (they having camp starting from today ma...) for lunch and a bit paixi.
then went back home and here i am typing this.
haha tml morning they haviing games. wonder if i can go. 9 to 1. see first.

ookok, kindaa tired. cya! =) red indian grp rocks.

4E classBBQ

2005-06-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

hmm came back from 4E class BBQ just now.. at around 11 pm...
kind of fun la...
basically they put all their stuffs into my big op bag since they did not bring any bag with them haha
actually i think my class very clever lehx
they got all those food from i dunno what u call that
haha basically its delivered over in a big styrofoam box den all kinds of food inside
like caterer like that
haha
the chicken is nice, well seasoned
otah spicy but realli yummy
the rest all good la haha
and I KNOW HOW TO CYCLE LE!!!
haha so happy... but when i try to start paddling got a bit of problem la haha
but overall hee GOOD! ah.....
shinyu, xiwen, roxanne, wei xiong and me sat on the beach just now..
haha... den we played truth or truth
haha... rather lame.. but interesting to hear from us ba
haha fun.
but tired walking back home.
anyways, xiwen went roxanne's hse to stay overnight..
so nice..
my sis dun let..
but well, its ok, there's always another time
=)

yep. i'm tired.. probably go sleep soon.
tml morning go xanne's hse den haf breakfast with both of them =)
den do project haha
yep. nitex!!

bored

2005-06-10T19:40:00.000+08:00

coming here out of plain boredom

seriously i also dunno what to talk about

hmm just added music to my blog yesterday

supposedly wanted the song all in all

asked my junior eloise to help me

in the end became this song

haha

i also dunno what song this is but well

i hear the phrase " all in all

yepx.

not too bad a song too

so thanks eloise!!

basically i just thought the a song may brighten up the spirit over here at this blog...

if not it'll just continue to rot and die away... haha

i make this sound like its a tree without water and extra nutrients

haha

alright.

jacq sally esther angel they all over at JB camp

feel rather lonely

lost ezlink card go everywhere also rather ex

so sianx dun go out le

den tt time thought of chatting with joel

but realised he's over at malaysia..

haiyah... how nice man... everybody gone...

yesterday wanna do project, everybody cannot..

tt time say either thurs or sun

so we asked around if they can on sunday to confirm

in the end kenneth has tuition till 11.30,

xiwen has tuition at 2.30,

enoch may not even be in singapore

phew.

hmm but nvm

think sunday me xanne and kenneth do

den leave some for xiwen and enoch some other day

yepx.

yesterday was kinda tired and irritated.

sorry peeps

tml saturday,

afternoon till night having class bbq

dunno if i should go.

even if i go i think i'll probably go playground or on the beach sand and slack

dunno y i just dun feel like going.

feel nothing for the class i guess... i mean.. nothing of this class touches me or whatsoever

no sense of belonging to the class

nevertheless i'm still excited about class tee and class page for yr bk

well, i'm rather weird? maybe...

hmm sianx.

know what? i onli go for cca once this holiday den i wanted to go today

but my sis say what dun they know i'm taking Os this yr

den what shouldn't i step down already?

i mean... pls...

i already told the teacher i'm not acting and its like i nvr go like other sec4s

esp like yuyang and michelle chua la

its like they go dunno how mani times every week.

i've onli gone once?!

haix forget it.

i think i may just go mad

think they expect me to study non-stop day and night and day and night and day and night

ROT

i really feel like just doing nothing

just rot and stare

and ask myself what i'm doing

and den look back at all those things i've done

they always say i dun bother to tell them my feelings so how would they know

but i've tried. and when i tell, they just correct me.

since i'm so imperfect in their eyes, why should i welcome uninvited trouble?

but every time i just walk away,

why do you still follow me scolding me?

if u dun understand my tongue language, why don't u try to understand my body language?

i'm tired thinking why people just dislike the way i do things.

when i see people slacking in the group so i try to take up the leading job.

but when i try to tell u all what to do, u people complain about me being bossy

when i slack, u complain i slack

when i just quietly do my work, u complain i nvr tell ya what i gonna do den say i cause u all to waste ur effort.

aiyah.when i ask u all what u wan me to do,

u will just keep on saying "wait ah..."

haix.

sorry i guess its just human nature to complain.

i mean, i'm also complaining right not right?

dun worry i'm not trying to blame u all

i think its that kind of attitude in my class

it distincts us and yet disgusts us too

haha so contradicting and irony

k la, i'm just crapping

dun take it to heart...........

-smilees (=

NEW RC!!!!!!

2005-06-05T12:28:00.000+08:00

woooaahhh NEW RC !!!!

can't believe it the new rc is just behind my block!
haha.
4 those who don't know, rc is a place where my church east people go there to hold events n have caregroup n the list just goes on... well, apinum, a thailand frm my church is gonna stay there too..with 3 other tenents now..
thank God for all our leaders' hardwork! all those involved in the finding of rc, cleaning n packing n so on.. well, God really blessed us East group to find such a great rc that is SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO near tampines MRT.. its blk 245, can see it even when u're travelling in the train! haha.
it took a great effort n faith n trust to find this rc - affirmed by SDL Dennis i would say.
he was deciding, whether we should move out of the new rc on 5th june(that's today) or 20th june( meaning we've got to pay more rent fees)... it was only about 1 week when he had to decide if we should move out on 5th or 20th june. and at that time, no new suitable rc was on hand. But thank God by Dennis' faith, he said on 5th june. that would mean if we find a new rc - Good...but if we don't - apinum will have to sleep on the streets or probably somewhere i don't know where.. but God really bless us, there was one day Dennis woke up n just wanna open the papers to find in the classifieds. and there was exceptionally more ads on tampines flats finding people to rent.. He found 3, fully air conditioned, fully furnished one. One of them they didn't return his calls, so basically God closed that door. so left with one 2 storey flat(quite run-down as claimed by the owner) and one 4 + 1 rm flat( which is kinda far frm Mrt n interchange)...$1100 and $1300 respectively i think.. so we chose the rundown 2 storey flat which was cheaper n near to mrt and interchange.. as u c, we're all students n its kinda hard for us to actually pay full $1100... even though we haf 3 tenants at that point of time, we're still short of about $300++ i think.. yep but thank God once again! Dennis received the call yesterday that there's another tenant coming in! YEAH!!!

haha ya so God is faithful! AMEN!
yesterday saturday...was really elated that pingmay could come for service... xiwen can't however. but nevertheless, i still thank God cos xiwen had the yearning heart to come. yeah.
well, yesterday was really tiring YET fulfilling.
1) pingmay came!
2) found new rc!
3) CLM was refreshing! thinking of all the spirits inside me (outreach, discipleship, honouring leaders, excitement n dreaming for God) make me feel so useful, that i can actually so do so so so much more things for God!
4) had a great long chat with Jacq..haha she ask if i have/had crushes with our church guys! then she shared about her crushes too haha =X
5) Dennis helped me pay for the camp even though i still not know if i can go for the camp..if i really cannot, the money won't be refunded but he's still willing to help...
5) lost my wallet while trying to find cardboard boxes for the moving of rc late at night but really thank God that He accompanied me through this..Jacq too.. although my ez link card n NRIC inside but He left some tracks around too.. yeah! i'll be able to find it someday! and my sheep actually smsed me this morning that she'll be praying for me u know..so touched.. haha. what's more, i was reaffirmed when shanrui shared with me about her testimony too.. n my sheep also. really thank God for planting such a loving church in my life. =)

in all n all, i truly believe God is a great God.. perhaps He was just testing me, and still testing.. n a really wanna overcome all these. God, i pray that the person who got my wallet will change, n be truthful to return me the wallet. even if i don't receive my wallet back, i just ask for that particular person to change and look to u one day o lord. Father, make this part of your plan to touch that person's life too. Lord i also wanna thank You for all that You have given me. Thank God for all the people around me caring and always praying for me. Lord i almost forsake u again..but You still blessed me so much.. more problems, more challenges, more trials may be coming in but i know, i know You're going through this with me too...and that i'll grow too.. Thank You o lord for giving me the very chances to grow in You. i just pray that all my trials will become testimonies and impact other people's lives. i believe the fruit is there, and its changing from 1-angled fruit to a 9-angled one. love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control. God, change me to become the kind of person You want me to be. AMEN.

haix

2005-05-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

ms teo called dad today
to go down to sch on fri for that parent teacher conference
well, my L1R5 got more than 20
so horrible argh
but even michelle chua got 14
its just so unbelievable
actually i find the conference quite fei4
well at least the last one was...quite.
but nevertheless, let's hope it realli helps

my dad was like asking me why they need to go over
then he said that if my results very bad den it'll be such a disgrace to haf me
since my 2 sisters went thru university
dear father, i onli failed 1 subject this time while other failed like say 3???
and i din realli fail sooooooooo badly until like say 30+ or what lohx..
argh
how depriving that comment was to me
he nvr cares abt my study before anyways
and he thinks tt its such a BIG deal to go sch find teacher
pls, there'll be LOTS of parents this friday for sure lohx
haix whatever

not in da mood to write much today
sorry
tml gonna haf Jerry Ong's talk on sexuality
4 hrs , how very nice

jiaqi's birthday present =)

2005-05-23T11:54:00.000+08:00

yepx jiaqi's birthday coming =)
basically its tml la haha
heex went to buy her prezzie with xanne yesterday
supposed to haf xiwen along de
but she gotta stay home look after her brother cos he's sick.
yepx so onli left the 2 of us lohx
we too lazy go town so we only went tampines mall
well, we walked round n round and had a few choices
1)the cup which can design ourselves
2)the cup xanne bought for her mum tt kind
3)jigsaw puzzle
4)photo album
5)shirt
haha in the end thru the "flipping of coin", xiwen chose shirt
yea so we bought that
anyways we ate haagen daz (i dunno how to spell tt =x)
hahaha...guess what's the flavour of the month??
TIRAMISU!!
haha so we ate tt
$2.90
its really nice. do try it.
we kind of made xiwen jealous la haha
supposing she gonna eat it somewhere this week yepx
hmm so we went out from 3+ to 6+ lohx..
we spent some time at the century square's sofa slacking haha

ah and on saturday. so horrible.
i think i wasted $7 watching DHS's performance sia
their CLDDS (i think tt's what they call it) has all kinds of things sia
their performance include opera, xiang4 sheng1, drama, dancing..
their opera so not professional one.. some walk so slow some walk so fast
den ending so sudden de suddenly like the mother say "want to marry my daughter?"
then the guy immediately call her "mum-in-law, my honours" that kind... so lame
den the xiang sheng so much fei4 hua4 also end suddenly de..
all the sarcasm den suddenly "oh is it, sorry i mistook ur actions"
then become good frens again.. -.-"
then drama, always use the same guy to act the same sissy gay role
can't they change for once?
somemore the use the drama which did not get into the competition.
still dare place out for performance..
then the dance. laugh our hearts out sia
esp the horse one.. they just keep swaying their heads and hair like siao zha bo
haha maybe i dunno how to appreciate la sorry den
haha okok tt's bad of me

alright i better go off do my work le
my sis went to china still give me homework to do..haix..
but its kinda good la
and chinese O level coming..
da jia jia you.
=) *muacks*
byeee

+mq+

tan

2005-05-21T08:28:00.000+08:00

went to sentosa the day before, the day after our exams finished
well, initially din wan to go cos jingyu asked everyone except me
onli heard it from quanrung later
thought that maybe they din wan me to go also
but later jingyu was like apologizing, asking me to go
so i went
played volleyball and in for a swim
palawan beach is nice...got the yellow floats and so on
but there's one part so scary
got all the big big rocks
where the sand is like black!
eek. scared quanrung and me when we were playing ball in the water
after that i spent quite a lot at sentosa...
bought food from 7-11 den later we still went to eat new zealand natural ice cream
but it was really delicious so its ok i guess
i chose irsh dream d-lite , lemon and lime sorbet
irish one is delicious..yummy..
there's rum taste in it den there's kind of like caramel i think
sorbet is sour as usual..lime is kinda special,yum yum
haha
then i forgot to bring towel so funny
lucky i brought an xtra shirt, used it as towel
can't believe i did that
my 2nd time not bringing towel
den i nvr bring plastic bag
i always so gong gong de lehx horrible
lucky yuyang got xtra heex
then guess what, i got tanned!!
my face and my shoulder and a bit of my legs
but so horrible
i din "gu4 yi4" wan to tan them de lohx
den its so red and brown now la
xiwen say she can even see the tan line from the look at the back through our uniform
argh
then everywhere i go everybody was like "wa what happened to u?!"
haix
its so pain on my shoulders especially when i carry my bag
the day i finished my exams, that very night, i quarrelled with joel seah
all because of my nickname
there seems to be so many problems choking up my neck i feel like dying
seriously
but ii know that i can't let go just like that
i've been too sensitive these days
thinking of how others may be disliking me because of some simple actions they make
thinking of how much my care may have drained out
i've been thinking too much i guess
i feel like just letting go of everything on hand
yesterday i got back my results
not all but most
to me i would say it was horribly done
e maths 78%
a maths 51%
chinese 66%
english compre 13/25 (w/o summary)
chemistry 58%
social studies 50%
english literature 70%
left with physics, geography
can die le
think L1R5 more than 20
haix
i got to go
cya aaround

mid yr over... finally

2005-05-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

been so busy studying for mid yr exam.
school's been kinda sadistic.
sec4 has 1 more day of exams (.")
end of wednesday, thursday marking day,
friday go back to sch.
can't they just give us holidays straight to the weekend.
they just love spoiling our mood sia.

well exams finish le.
was so excited yesterday but today...
nothing to do
felt to horribly deeesperate to do something
but nothing
argh
feel like doing nothing
yet don't like the feeling of having nothing to do

these days thought of a lot of things
abt me n him
seriously i kip thinking abt us
but what i see is always he and her
its struggling inside me
all da smses seem so fake now
gee i dunno what i'm doing
what i'm thinking
...
i dunno...

i'm falling away from Him.
i know
my sis convinced me into letting go of Him.
i dunno what to do
at least for now...
i really dunno
no one to find the way..
can't possibly ask jac they all
neither my family side
no where to turn to
struggling within

*
God, Father,
would u pls listen to my request n bless my frens...
esp him, since he seems to be really down these days..
pour on him ur showers of blessings..
even though u may choose not to bless me since
i'm choosing to leave u somehow...
pls grant my little request to look after all my frens...
i still thank u with all my heart.
-your child.
*
haix
i dunno

should i go sentosa with CDS peeps tml?
or go town with xanne n jess?
aiyoh..
a lot of questions in my head...

boo . long . time . no . see

2005-03-15T10:10:00.000+08:00

ello...

long time no see

how's life?

mine's great..

esp with God working in my life

went out with shuling yesterday..

took neoprint...

quite fun...

cos of some of our spastic looks..

haha.. maybe not mine la..

onli shulings!! =X

ahaha.. anyway, saw jac @ the neoprint shop..

think she was with a contact..

wa, talking abt contact,

i'm just so excited

1st time i gonna go out with my contact alone!! this fri... phew!

rather scared actually..

but no worries, i shall do my best and let god do the rest!!

yeah!

hahax...

i'm doing it for god anyway so y should i be scared or hide it? =p

so excited!! ah............!!!!!

hahax...sorrie i going crazy again...

anyway, just to update, i've got 2 meh-mehs now..haha...

my 2 cute little sheep..

chiuwen n

xiwen...

yep...

n i'm follow-uping on pingmay... ping mei mei

hahax

Anyway, this wed got district outing...so excited too..

but chiuwen dun feel like coming...

cos she dun like crowds..

but i think should come to join in the fun!

at pasir ris beach lehx..

think its realli gonna be fun..

n i think jac and shanrui is involved in planning something...

hahax...i also dunno...

i shall pray for lots of ppl to come and enjoy! esp chiuwen...

ah, its onli the 1st day and i'm struggling with my fasting...

not to watch tv and skipping a meal each day...

gonna last till april..

but its ok...its for God's ppl!!

must jian chi dao di!

its kind of realli hard to hide from mum actually...

easter easter!!! hahax... having special service..gonna be real fun...

interested can just call me n ask lohx..hahax

got this postcard as invitation card..kinda cool.. hahax

hmm...i gave up part of my cca le... that means not going for the competition and outside sch performance... cos of church and schoolwork..

ya lohx...feel kind of seperated from the rest of the sec4s..

but still ok lehx actually.. cos sec4s very NICE!!!

hahax..i going crazy again... =P

hmm but then i'm still in mo ju...among all those sec2s n 3s...

quite fun sia..with them..hahax...

can't believe i'm saying this... =X

ok la...i sian diao but all those things i wrote liaox...

so.. ya.. march holidays.. do enjoy it! =)

cya peeps!

busy

2005-01-23T13:46:00.000+08:00

been ( or rather will) be busy these few weeks... esp the chi new yr week.
there's jus so many things to do.
i've got 2 drama coming up.
1 is new yr, the other is the "reference drama"(translated directly)
yeah. so take care peeps.

oh ya, heymath.com has got assignment now. due next saturday.
better do it k peeps.
gotta go. cya!

love all my sheep.

merry christmas

2004-12-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

hi there all u people who still continue visiting my blogs despite its prehistoric existence.
Well yes, its christmas. everybody's giving & receiving gifts. wow. its just so heart-filling isn't it?
somehow i wonder, christmas is a birthday? everybody exchanges gifts except to the birthday boy?
its pretty strange isn't it?

anyways i got quite a no. of things too..really thankful. so so sorry for those i did not give any present to. really sorry, i've not enough $$.

as for those i gave presents to, really hope u peeps would like it & in fact, find it both pleasant looking & useful at the same time. heex.

but just wanna thank all of u being in my life & shaping me into who i am now.
=)
its my joy & also my honour to have u peeps in my life & also welcome to my future.

love ya all. hugs.

sch comp is lousy/

2004-09-28T14:25:00.000+08:00

basically who doesn't know this fact? well, think i'll have a big construction in my blog after exams. think i need lotsa help too. can't seem to reload the chatterbox... forgot how to do a lot of things with blogger.com. haix. today jus isn't a very gd day. i squashed a big slimy insect! & that stupid person ignored him. nvm, know he very rich, can pay the chalet for my sis ma. humph!

gee...

2004-09-14T14:01:00.000+08:00

hehex. so long... its been so so long since i last entered an entry. gosh.
din cos comp immigrate over to my sis' hostel.
Anyways, now exams coming le.
scared i later stressed up again & go crazy den think of silly stuffs..
hmm.. so c ya all again some other time k? perhaps end of october.
heex. sorry for all the waiting. =p

my fault? ya.my fault.

2004-06-10T12:15:00.000+08:00

yesterday din manage to write anything.sorry.

well, haven't been writing for some time but i dunno wad to write anyway... cos its all doing dao ju or staying at home slacking...*sIaNx**rot**rot**rot*

so Yesterday we went escape theme park. wa, that yuyang surely not late lohx.
haha.
late for abt 20 mins only la hoh. hahax
but ah, haha. only 4 of us ( me, guanrong, yuyang, jingyu) went to the escape among our whole batch lohx. so PaThEtIc.
so we went there & found out that if it rains we can revalidate the ticket till 8th September.
which means we can go back there some other day before 8th September.
The sky was DARK... Then, the panasonic, inverter, rainbow all nvr open. sadist sia.
nvm, 1st, we went for wet & wild~!! k, that's kind of a normal thing, always go 4 wet stuffs 1st.
Then wanted to go for panasonic alpha but closed so we went for the station nearest which is PiRaTe ShIpp... hahax.
that was a nice one. we sang CDSong. so nice.=)
but i was too scaredy to let off my hands cos i haf ju gao zheng??? hahax. no la.
jus abit scared.
or rather a lot?
=p
So next we went for.... pepsi i think. Then yuyang nvr sit cos she dun like, scareed she vomit.
But dunno y she like flipper dun like pepsi.
i think its pretty much the same~
hahax.
1st time we sit pepsi is jingyu sit alone. Then 2nd time is i sit alone.
haha
but lucky i got a young little boy boy 2 accompany me.
he's ssssoooooooooooo cute~!!
but he was scared.
he very polite wor, i wonder how many thank Q he said. hahax.
he came with his class, so nice.
now pri sch kids so xing fu.
las time we only go the typical jurong bird park , zoo, science centre, discovery centre & fire station?
hahax. good enough la.
In the end, it was expected, it rained. heavily. VERY HEAVILY.
Then i began to switch my mood.
Though i dunno y i still kip laughing & laughing.
ok, we got 4 people & 1 umbrella.
pathetic? yes.
yuyang took quanrong to the bus stop 1st.
then she came back for me & jingyu.
basically i think her 2nd trip was kind of fei? cos we were almost all wet.
& then i think i kip tripping & stepping on jingyu's slippers hahax.
Then i dunno y i still kip laughing & giggling. Then hoh, there was this small part i wasn't even UNDER the umbrella & i noticed it onli after a while.
horrible.
Then traffic light there we jaywalked. or rather jayran?! hahax.
we jus ran over, fun! =)

yep, so we went pasir ris to eat & then plaza singapura to watch movie, the BEst Bet.
duno y, i dun find it very funny la.
Then we went to eat long john silver's. but onli me, quanrong & jingyu.
that yuyang so horrible lohx. haha. no la. juz kidding.
Then we went home. Reached home 7+.
me & jingyu took same train ma, she went bedok then me at tampines.
so funny when we boarded the train
i think i made a fool of myself, i kip giggling on the train. haha.
there was this guy standing in front of us ma, facing us some more.
then nvm, his beard so funny, like a line of ants.. haha... so thin thin lohx.
Then under the mouth there one small little patch, so cute.
i wonder if he's a black, malay or tamil. he looks kinda weird in 1 way or another.
then nvm, after like 2 stops we found 2 seats. so we sat down la, we not stupid rite?
so a while after we sat down.. hmm.. it was like sit, look up, look at each other & laugh.
hahax.
i suppose jingyu was laughing at the same thing as me.
opposite us were 2 ladies sitting rite, reading books & there haf the TOTAL same Expression on their face?? hahax.
i was like, "typical joyce & quanrong??"
hee.. =X
& then jingyu reached her stop in kind of a while.
she took out her mp rite, it looked like a red bomb. haha.
she said even the promoter called it the 'atomic bomb'. haha. so funny.
But after she left, i was silent, & expressionless?
i dunno y lehx. i'm such a weirdo.

so i reached home & slacked.
too lazy to bathe.
in the end bathe at about 11+.
so horrible.
i stunk like dunno wad.
then i was online rite, then dunno y that joel suddenly say wad :
" c la. told u she like someone else le!"
i was like, wad? my fault ah?
almost all girls like 2 person at the same time lohx.
jealous jealous jealous. that's all u can do lohx.
then while i was bathing i was trying to think wad can i describe him as.
So i came out with this : cigarette.
he's crazy over a girl.
the girl may be crazy with him.
but in the end he got burned because of jealousy then it burns & burns him to nothing but ASH. its black & useless, pollutes the earth & still dunno wad he has done. He only expects someone else to help him. Perhaps cleaners to clean him up?

i think joel is really crazy.
he's not a man, dun even haf confidence & still think he has the right to be jealous.
all guys are much pretty the same. even my dad. even fred.
i just hate guys now.
like its my fault.

la guitarra...

2004-06-05T10:46:00.000+08:00

Okay, yesterday was too tiring so i din manage to write an entry b4 going to slp. yep. sorri~

So yesterday was alrite. Had to go back to sch again to do DAO JU.. as usual...
Then we were washing the sponges used to paint the stuffs.. so imagine it was black paint & i was splashed by that loo quan rung.. horrible.. but lucky not that bad la.. just got some black poka dots on my pe tshirt & skirt onli lohx. haha..

Then i also got my both hands full of black paint! the more i tried to get rid of them the worst it got. haha. in the end right, i was admiring all my black nails. so nice! i've started to like black so much!!

So later, we finished doing the dao ju @ 4.. actually not really finished cos we (me & qR as usual) went off earlier ( cos we going to the guitar concert in the evening), left yangzi & fred there. when i reached home it was say abt 4.40? then kind of rushing a bit cos i'm meeting qR at bedok mrt station at 5.45, then 6.30 @ somerset with jiankai & joel. ya.. but in the end, AS USUAL, qR was later than me though me myself was late for 3 or 4 minutes? hahax.. imagine pathetic missing 5 trains b4 qR came.. horrendous.

So when our train passed Kembangan Jiankai came over & scared me! haha... i just realised that he lived in Kembangan. a place for kind-of-rich people i think.. haha.. =P

Guess what, while waiting for qR, joel already reached raffles? *basically he missed the stop at City hall...*

Poor joel, he had to wait for us.. sat at the station for so long. but nvm la, he's a guy anyway rite? =PPP

so we went for the concert. oh ya, u ppl will be surprised cos the concert is at the Singapore Power Building. Don't u think its weird? a Power house? no link with concerts!!! hahax. i'm crapping.

So the concert was nice. i think the decos with the stars all these.. & the background of the stage which means the banner? ya... its nice just that the words kind of slanted? the stars right, made of aluminiun foils & stuffs were stuck to the floor. quite a number of ppl kept tripping over it. Well, that includes me alrite, i admit. By the way, qR brought her NS fren, Bo Qi. nex time should call him BO KI since that's qR language, changing all q's to k's.. hahax..

ok. i had to pay for his ticket & he has no money to pay me back YET. so i'm collecting my 10 bucks frm qR 3 WEEKS LATER. so horrendous. Anyway, Bo KI doesn't look like any other NS guy. even roxanne says so. he looks our age! *hmm.. is that a compliment?*

Nvm, the concert was interesting with the entertainers of cos! haha.. got Qinzhi's mime & that councillor's (4got her name..) ballerina.. nice one.

After the concert, waited for Roxanne..QR & boKI went back 1st.. Xiwen went back home straight away cos her father fetched her home since her father came to the concert anyway. So while waiting for roxanne, we've been very gd, we picked up the stars for them! haha. then roxanne came & got a balloon for herself. haha. then joel had to carry her guitar for her. well, he was of great help. hahax. So we went to eat icecream! at bugis mac.. nice.. joel & jiankai each got a burger for themself.. Then we went back home lohx. =)

A very nice day. But TIRING~~

okay, i think i wrote pretty long, gtg! cya~!! oh ya, by the way, Aloysius & Vincent & Zhengcong should be coming back from Harbin today le...=)

2nd June.Vesak Day. happy/sad.

2004-06-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

Today,vesak day. Went to temple @ eunos. After visiting the temple, we went to the market there where my mum's fren sell her popiahs... my mum only chatted with her for a while but after leaving her stall were her quarrells with dad. haix. Got kind of irritated so i said i wanna go back to sch. ya. i'm kind of a sadist i guess. But can't blame me. imagine just finished praying for a happy & blessed family & such things happen a while later? horrible.incorrigible.

When i came back home, everything seemed so "silent"... So my elder sis brought me & my mum & dad go shopping. 2nd sis didn't join us cos she had her bf with her anyway. So we went to parkway to eat & shop isetan. Horrendous, i'm going back there to shop with qR tml again oh man. Anyways, we actually, originally, wanted to go expo de singapore food fair for lunch but too many ppl were kind of "squeezing" the expo, it may just explode anytime u know... & the carpack were full with the wet weather... so we changed our destination to Parkway lohx.

After shopping, it was already 7 when we reached home. so tired. lucky i hear no more quarrells if not i may just be crying right now. (though i actually heard some sarcastic remarks while we went shopping but can c that they still care for each other de...)

Alrite, i'm kind of tired right now... guess u guys can feel it with my tone in my sentences? kind of short sentences ya?
Anyway, hope u guess just feel blessed at home.=)
love ya all.
-hugs-

y0z y0z y0z

2004-05-31T19:15:00.000+08:00

ElLo to all~~~
haha.Basically had cca in the morning doing dao ju. The cardboards are so so horrendous~!! my arms are aching right now & that stoopid qR so do little...was like slacking, lying on the sofa reading her stoopid BOOK~~~~~

yep. So we as in me, qR & jQ went off earlier. went to eat pizza hut.(after working must treat ourselves..=P) haha. had much fun cos we were like so so so so full. yep. Then after that we decided to shop cos we were practically much too full, need some exercise so in the end we shopped for like almost 2 hours?/?? horrendous i know. But later on i came over here to CDAC to study. i so guai. =ppppp

haix.my arms are realy aching so much, think i shall not write any further k.
*i want to buy huang yi da's CD~!!!!!!*
*stoopid qR kip complaining that i nvr update my blog when i DID!!! =PPP*

ello..

2004-05-30T22:08:00.001+08:00

haven't been writing for a couple of days.. Sorry ya~

Okay, so today is Sunday. I shall start my entry on Friday ya?

So on Friday we went back to sch, "supposedly" got to clean up our classroom but my class didn't cos we had to go to the computer lab for some survey online by the NIE. Just some (or rather a LOT) questions on our secondary sch life & stuffs like that. yep. so we went back to class after that to get back our report books.Well, surprisingly, both Roxanne & Xiwen's L1R5 lower than mine but my average higher than theirs.. abit weird. haha.. Nvm. Anyway, for once there's no red mark or underlining on this result slip. haha... so surprising (for those who don't know, underlined are those which are failed.) haha. & even MORE SURPRISINGLY my class position is 14 out of 39... Then my average was 60.9. but my L1R5 *horrible* got 26. haha. But supposing i don't need to go SSS. hee. CHEN JIU GAN.
So we had paixi after school. both Han & Lan lao shi came. poor yuyang, being the lead actress got bang-banged so many times.. haha.. anyway, its meant well for her la so jiayou k. =>

Yesterday, Saturday, had chinese oral. it PRACTICALLY DISGUSTED me. The reading of passage was about the word 'ren' again. then the news report was about joo chiat again which i din study~ horrible. Then comes the daily stuff thing about what "li3 qing1 qing2 yi4 zhong4". At first i was stunned, but i later came to understand that it meant that the present need not be expensive as long as the thought counts. But i guess i keep 'er'ing that the teacher got kind of irritated? Well, the teacher wasn't in a good mood in my view. haix.
So after that had cca. Even more horrible, stayed but din pai my scene. nvm, slack there for so long then realised can go off le. so funny. haha...
& then zc, aloy & vin went to Harbin this night. hope they'll have fun there, though i think aloy will have a terrible time. haha.. ya, so good luck lohz.

This morning, Sunday, went to AH KUN to eat this cheezy french set & kaya toast set sharing with my sis of cos. how can i possibly finish 2 sets right? imagine eating 4 eggs? GOSH~ haha..
In the end my sis lost her phone. ya, so sad. but her bf got her another one (same one somemore) anyways. Though i guess she must haf felt horrible as to lose all the photos in that phone. Well, u c, my sis' bf make hp, so he has some supplies of hp left at home. haha.. my mum was still joking about it. Saying that lucky her bf is him if not she'll hafta BUY a new hp then waste money.. haha... =p

Okay, basically its the starting of the JUNE HOLIDAYS, gotta drill. Well, imagine Shuling just complained to me of not accompanying her. So, i gotta plan out some stuffs.. my cca seem so packed. then i still gotta drill on some subjects. haix. Then i guess i have to make out some time for Shuling & some old frens like Melanie. yep. So sad, Shuling is getting her contacts le. i wonder if i should tell my mum that i would like to have contacts too. hmm.. but anyways, i would really like to have huang yi da's cd for now first. hee.. =P

Well, so much for now, my sis is asleep i guess. Think i shan't type on anymore. k, so cya guys around ya~ tml still having cca in da morning.. hmm.. k. Take care peeps!

sports heat...

2004-05-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

yep.So today had Sports Heat. haha.. so funny, me & Jingyu & michelle chua & wenjie din run our 4 x 400m afterall. Hee, cos of the rain.. haha.. we were kinda praying that it'll rain heavily. Before the 4 x 100m event which was just before ours we were already able to feel some drizzles. Got so excited over it Jingyu was like "ni3 yao4 pei2 yang3 qing2 xu4~! ni3 shi4 wei4 hun1 ma1 ma dong3 ma1? ni3 yao4 ku1! ni3 yao4 xiang3 xiang4 mei2 you3 ren2 yao4 ni3! pai2 yang3 qing2 xu4!!" haha. In the end it started raining so heavily! haha.. what TYCONESS.. So, the heats for our event got postponed back to 3rd term 1st week i heard.. yep.

Well, yesterday was the cat. high music awards. Didn't go but heard that it was Great. In the sense that it was very interesting & the lightings were 'cool'? *as according to qR & jQ..haha..* not really disappointed or upset over the fact that i decided not to go cos qR & jQ ended up reaching home very late? abt 11+ i think. Lucky i didn't go.=p

Tml will be having paixi again. so sianx. & anyway, me not having much depression these days le k? so dun worri too much... I suppose its because of the kit kat she (as in chen su zhen my chinese teacher) gave me..ahhaha... Basically i think its because i'm the 2nd in my class & at the same i'm her rep? Well, in anyways, i'm hApPy over the fact that i had a kit kat~ & my form teacher also encouraged me to do better... so gan dong.. haha.. cos she knew of my maths results. =)

haix

2004-05-24T21:49:00.000+08:00

depression DePresSion DEPRESSION~!!!!
aRgh.. i threw my hp around again today. Threw frm one end of the performing arts centre to e other end. horrendous? not really...
HaiX. got back my e lit. => 62
social studies => 44 (sux)
so irritated by myself tonite. though i seemed crazy by giggling & laughing all day.
i really feel like crying. such an idiot.
tml not going CH music awards le. sorrie to all.
Well, i feel like cutting my wrist again. dunno y i get so irritated when i saw how horrendous our sec 3 batch has become. com members get SSS den cannot be in com anymore den still laugh laugh laugh & tok tok tok when paixi'ing?? Then that doo doo Samuel cannot even stay for 15 mins to paixi. VERY GOOD LOHX.
Alrite, i have no reason to be angry, i'm not the director ma. just a small role in the show, saying i have an illness only ma. Afterall, y shld i care. I could have decided not to join this ju so that i dun nid to perform on 7th July den go for my cousin's wedding @ malaysia on 6th July lohz. U guys know how much i really wanted to go to that wedding cos i'm THAT THAT close with this cousin in Malaysia.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................
i hate crying.i just SIMPLY JUST HATE IT.
i hate myself being able to cry so easily. i hate this feeling.
y muz i be on this earth? can't i die?
& the worst thing is i lost my pencil case which is originally my sis'... & its frm ESPRIT & it really cost a lot. ArGh.

forget it. i should really forget it all. forget may be the nicest word in my dictionary.

opps

2004-05-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

sorry, i 4got to say some stuffs. haha. some stupid ones but just say say la.no harm.

haha, i did a 'How depressed are u?' QUIZ just now. So funny. So imagine i got "HEAVILY DEPRESSED". U should be able to c it @ the side of the blog now la. haha. i think its so funny. Cos u c, i threw my phone around yesterday morning. *Alright, i know i'm crazy.* Basically i haven't even received my results & i was throwing my phone?!?! WEIRDO. okay. So i was this crazy. M i really tooooooooooooooo HEAVILY DEPRESSED?
*but i was laughing while & after i threw my phone*
=D

sec3 mid yr results

2004-05-22T20:25:00.000+08:00

So i got back my results yesterday... i wonder if i should be happy or sad abt it.
Well, i received my english(except for compo), chinese, e & a maths, geography, chemistry & physics. yep. so all was just okay.
Kind of disappointed for chinese & a maths. Although a maths was told that 1/3 of the sch failed & i'm the best in my class de express chinese students. ya. so i got 62 for chinese & 59 for a maths. so bad, so sad.
However, kind of happy abt my geog & chem, though it isn't very gd but @ least i din fail. U know, my geog always fail u know.. yep. So i passed my geog & i'm happy because i got higher than Roxanne, Xiwen, Joel & Enoch.haha. not trying to suan or what k, pls don't get the wrong idea. Cos i really made an effort to study it. Imagine waking up almost every morning @ 4 plus before the exam just to study geography? haha. Okay, well,
so i got 58 for geography. As for Chemistry, i got 64. Kind of surprised that it got higher than my chinese? Argh~ is it good or is it bad? hahah.. both la rite? hee~ so my chemistry has alwasy been pass or just pass but this time i got a bit higher than just pass ya~ =)
Hmm... left my e maths & physics & english. Alright, my english is still as HORRENDOUS. without compo i already having 54. As usual, i failed my compre by 12 upon 25 but my summary got 15 upon 25. that's kind of amazing though. So my physics got 58. Well, i should thank God that it remained as it is cos quite a no. failed i think. yep. so i should be even more happy huh? *crap* Then, HAPPY of my e maths cos this subject made me proud. the onli subject i scored 80++ after leaving primary school man. lolx. i got 84 for e maths. thought of it as UNBELIEVABLE. haha.

OKAY. so much for being happy. I still have my English Literature & Social Studies in which i think it'll be even more HORRENDOUS cos i think i wrote a lot of crappie stuffs. & basically i din prepare much for SS cos i concentrated on my Chemistry & the 2 papers were on the same day. & BASICALLY *again* i had SERIOUS FLU during my ELIT paper. Then after that i had high fever, reaching 39 degrees ONLY...yep.horrigible.
Alright, so much so for now.gone this far afterall.i guess i just gotta drill a lot during my June Holidays.Gonna drill on my maths, elit, geog, chem, physics,english. *seems like all subjects* Well, its normal. haha...

K. so yesterday had to paixi after getting the results. pai pai pai until 5 i think. Zhenghui & Serene was fighting for a role. In the end Zhenghui got it & i guess Serene was terribly disappointed with herself(not only cos of the role but her results) . She broke down. Haix. Anyway, i suppose she decided to settle down with her studies 1st b4 she get on with cca. No matter what, SERENE, if u c this,u must know that there's always someone who is weaker than u & we are all behind u & will support u k? We shall go out & drill lotx ya? ;) Must work hard hard wor. So after paixi that we went to eat fries & chatted.Decided to go beach tml. so fun. i suggested playing freezeframe again. haha.. so fun. so alike mo ju. i like. haha. For those who don't know, this is a game such that we gotta freeze when Yuyang(the leader) taps her head. & we can move only if she moves. yaya.So we look like BAICHI. haha. But we get all the attention we want.SO NICE! haha.*lame*

K la, gotta stop here, i wrote so much le. i took so much time lohz. Cos that Quanrung call me & interrupt? & i went to eat dinner? & my baby nephew was crying just now & my sis needed help? haha. k. i shouldn't blame ppl around me. Blame myself for typing so slowly. haha. k. cya guys around ya~
Stay CuTe & FuNkY~

new diary.1st entry

2004-05-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

Hee.. new diary.brand-new.cool.
haha...1st entry. hmm... had some time finding a nice blogskin & i find this pretty cute ya.. haha.. dun u juz think so? hee..
Well, fancy me creating a new blog at the night b4 getting midyr results. horrendous.
haha, basically i need lotsa help k? i would love to get a tagboard & some musics soon.. haha.. will get back to u guys ya. =) cya around~

*StArS*AnGeL*LoVe

who cares

been too lazy

chao ren

lazy

I don't like school

i'm gonna SLEEP

did I cry?

i have no idea why

AJ

results

we're all tired

chinese new year

tired

ok forced to right this!

wrong wrong wrong

all i miss about ahs is the FOOD!!!

lectures starting.

Anderson JC

lazy

new year new school

I LOVe iseten

my colour?

AJC

BORED

yang^2 bday!

childish is maturity

bored.

i'm ANGRY!!

Os... finally FINISH!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!

yec1 blog

boo

results!

i thought it over already

back

leaving? eek.

let's hope thiings are getting better

i...

it was all my thoughts

i'm an idiot

dunno what to say

weird

water baptism

happy

sorry..

chinese O levels result

chinese O levels result

happy

bored. went to change passport photo jus now

ah... stupid names

national day

sudden thots for CDS

photos

hmm student council investiture

caregroup!

service

useless me

xoang ying 2005 aka na yi ye

spiritual birthday!!!

my sheep

trials

sec4 sem2

kuala lumpur aka cameron highlands

4E classBBQ

bored

NEW RC!!!!!!

haix

jiaqi's birthday present =)

tan

mid yr over... finally

boo . long . time . no . see

busy

*merry christmas*

sch comp is lousy/

gee...

my fault? ya.my fault.

la guitarra...

2nd June.Vesak Day. happy/sad.

y0z y0z y0z

ello..

StArSAnGeL*LoVe

merry christmas