Wednesday, December 07, 2005
sad. these days ain't easy for me. roxanne's gone to china, xiwen is like lost contact with me like that. replying messages only 1 or 2 days later. i feel so daaaaaamn down la. can't go service & camp. i feel so utterly pathetic for myself. i'm weird. & that rather stupid primary school chalet at downtown east coasta sands is like so....booooooooring. just imagine spending near 2 hours with a bunch of guys when u're the only girl? worst thing is i already.......how to say...... don't know them that well le ma right? ya so it was spent quite horribly. they were playing inside the arcade while i sitting outside sms-ing my friends. sian-ed k.gee i make myself so desperate for help at times. maybe i'm beginning to dislike myself again. i'm losing grip of the love in my life. the love for myself. argh. i dunno what i'm talking la. just feel rather irritated. ok everybody from primary school is like still the same. i'm so damn quiet during the chalet. i've changed ba i guess---innerly. but recalling the past was really fun. played a lot of games yesterday, between us girls la. played hmm.... the mrt station game which i just learnt and anyhow taught them..haha... and 1 game of mahjong. yeah 1 pathetic game of mahjong and then we kept it. haha so funny la can. we keep doing things for a short while then go back and do another thing for a short while and back again. like say we went to play pepsi-cola 123 for 1 time yea 1 time again and we went back to the chalet. lame rite? but ok la. quite a fun time spent with them. and we slept for an on-off 2 hours sleep. in case u dunno what i mean, on-off means half-asleep those kind. u know...like sleep then wake up then sleep. basically it equals to no sleep for me la. 2 pathetic hours. then i went back home and slept for 5 hours or more, straight. so nice. *yawns* later sstill gonna get back to the camp. for bbq in the night. probably staying over again. so boring. opps. i hope they dun see this.haix.
i look so stupid la can. so happy. duno why. roxanne's left & i feel all alone. if she's gonna go for LA for good, i think the 3 of us - xanne, jess & me, yeah... haix.... i dunno... i'm feeling the strong depression overwhelming me. shit. again.
posted @ 15:37
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